I miss my laptop

And I’m damned cranky about it

I’m waiting on someone who’s supposed to be getting me a good deal on a new one, but in the meantime, I am lost without my laptop.   I guess I’m just too used to multi-tasking, watching tv while writing notes, playing games, eating lunch in front of it while cruising the internet – and I hate change, and I hate not being able to fix something, so this is just a great big fat annoyance. 

And I’m partly annoyed with myself because I should have just gone and got a new one and not waited around.  

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Achy, cold, and shut the hell up

Morning rants when I’m not fully awake do not make me happy

Telling me “you should have” for everything I tell you that happened, does not make me happy

Spring not being here yet does not make me happy

Achy chest does NOT make me happy

Weather forecast of wintery mix does not make me happy

Getting paid for only one class is making me cranky

I need a nap, but if I go lie down, I’ll sleep all day

grump grump grumble

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Special days

Yesterday was just wonderful.   
Most wouldn’t call it special, but most people didn’t live the sort of life where you watch everyone else and wonder if you’ll ever have what they take for granted.  And you wonder why it’s passed you by, that normal stuff.   My friends got married, had kids, had their own homes, and never seemed to think it was anything more than what was supposed to be.  

So fast forward a lot of years – and a lot of tears and lonely nights and the acceptance that I would always be alone – to today.  I made cookies for my husband, swept the floors, paid bills, took the dog out  –  things other people seemingly take for granted.  

Trust me, guys, this is the definition of “special”

And today I pay for the happy puppy who jumped all over me in the field, and body slammed me, with a chondritis flare that put me in bed all day.   Yeah, I guess he’s worth it.  

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

sleepy Sunday

I just didn’t want to get out of bed today.   No particular reason, I just could have stayed in bed all day, dreaming dreams and thinking thoughts.   
But I got up, and it was a good day.  🙂   

Max and I walked, he got to play with his friend and got quite dirty, so I put him in the tub and hosed off his feet.   He was so tired, but like a kid who’s over tired, he fought sleep most of the day.   Afraid he’d miss something, I suspect.   

I snuggled with Bear, did some school stuff, putzed around, did a bit of quilting, made meatloaf, and now it’s Downton Abbey and knitting.   

The snow missed us completely.   It was quite the relief, I really hate snow.   

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

It was the seatbelt

that crossed my chest and made the chondritis flare.   Then it was the cold, and the damp.  

It could be worse, at least I was still functional.   

So the weather is still iffy but I’ve been dealing with it.   I got through “Nemo” with minimal anxiety.   Yay, me.   Every step that doesn’t make me cry is a step forward.   I’m still counting down to Spring, and telling myself that every breath I take is one breath closer to the day I don’t have to think about snow for 6 months. 

Quilt progress is slow, but notable.   I’m more than half way through the second row.   It’s soothing to my nerves – the movement of the needle through the fabric is like a form of meditation.   Bear said tonight that he didn’t really understand this quilting thing till he saw the heart done free-hand, and thought it looked pretty amazing.   That made me happy, made me smile.   🙂  It’s nice to have him sort of get something so important to me.   

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

Memories of Anna

Max and I went to the nursing home today.  It’s the first time we’ve been in several weeks, but I kind of ran out of excuses for not going, and I thought it would be good practice for him with the Halti.   He did well, he sort of self-corrects if I let him.   We didn’t stay long.  There was a party going on in the cafeteria, and most of the residents were there.   I didn’t want to bring him into that, especially since the first person I saw was Mean Jean, who always yells at me to get Max away from her.   We walked around and visited a few people, and then came home.   It was enough.  

I’m melancholy tonight.  I miss Anna.   I know she’d want us to keep going there, if only so I could bring her back stories about the other residents.  How we’d giggle over some of their antics.   I’m grateful for the time I had with her, she always made me feel so loved.  I hope she knew then and knows now, how much I loved her, and still do.  

 

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

Doodling

The other day, in one of my random rambles through the internet, I came across something called “zentangles.”  Ooooh, this looked like fun!   I turned to google, and that led me to Amazon, and I promptly loaded my cart with books and tools of the trade.  

I never hit the check out now button, I know me too well.   I did some more research.  It appears that these “zentangles” are basically doodles, filled with specific designs.   Done on small “tiles” (pieces of paper), apparently the marking of the design is a form of meditation.   

I have drawing pads, pencils and pens.  I think I can doodle without a book, or an expensive set of pens, to show me what to do.   

I emptied my cart.  And then I cruised pinterest and found a tutorial on making button bracelets.   My granddaughter likes those better than any old doodles.  

 

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

This and that Tuesday

We went for a walk.   That’s a truly wonderful thing, since we haven’t been able to walk for at least the past month.   I got some really good advice about using the Halti and I put it in practice and SUCCESS!  Very little pulling, I just need to work on me now, on letting Max correct himself when he pulls instead of me trying to correct with the collar pop.   It’s SUCH a relief!  I didn’t realize how much I missed it till Sunday, when we just went out on the road and moved!   It’s amazing what it does for my anxiety levels, and for Max’s general mental health – he is so much more settled, more calm.   It’s wonderful!  And now we can do it, I’m so happy!

I saw a button bracelet on pinterest, and of course, had to try it.    I got the materials for next to nothing and created this:

I think my granddaughter will like it, but I also think it needs a few more buttons.   I’ll work on it more tomorrow.

 

I did nothing on the quilt.  I would feel guilty but I can make up for it tomorrow.  Today was sort of a mess – Bear had to go in early, and I went to dinner with a friend, at a time when I never eat a meal.  It was fun, nonetheless.  I took along a bottle of wine that was just wayyyyyyyyy too dry for us, so we gave it to the people at the next table.  They thought it was great!  🙂

Class tomorrow.   Not a fan of early days but I’ve been enjoying this class so I’ll suffer through it.

Posted in Max, my life | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

Snow and wet dogs

I hate snow.   I don’t think that’s news to anyone.   I hate snow mostly because of my driveway, but I also hate being cold.   It makes me ache, makes me hurt, I just don’t see much of anything worthwhile in it.   

My dog, however, loves this shit.   He wants to stay on the porch, he wants the front door open, he wants to go roll in it and come in wet, and then do the same five minutes later.  It’s not fun after the first time.   

 

My shoulders hurt.  My back hurts.  I’m a pile of woe. A pile of woe who’s trying to remind myself that every breath brings me closer to Spring.   Just get me through this latest storm and let me keep my sanity.  

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

It sure is Monday!

Max woke me up at some point, whining in his sleep.  I think it was a bad dream, he settled right down when I put my hand on him.   He went back to sleep, I was awake for an hour just petting him.

The phone rang at 9:15, my cell.  I didn’t recognize the number so I didn’t answer it.  No message – but immediately the house phone rang.  I heard the answering machine kick on and a voice, so I got up, came downstairs and checked the message.  It was the vet calling, wanted me to call back about Max.    He had called on Saturday and left a message that Max’s thyroid test came back fine, so why was he calling again?   I called, he was in surgery.  I called an hour later, still in surgery.  Now I’m in panic mode.

Hubby, in an effort to distract me, started telling me that it may snow on Friday and he’ll have to take the truck to work.  It’s Monday.   The forecast will change at least 8 times till Friday, at which point they’ll either decide we’re getting a blizzard or we’re getting nothing, and oh, sorry for making you worry about it all week.

Finally, after two hours, the vet called.   He just wanted to make sure I got his message.   ~~thunk~~   I told him he had scared the shit out of me.   🙂   Max and I took a ride down to the office and got his meds refilled.   I put the Halti on him and we managed to walk as far as the corner of the building.  Progress!  Slow, but still progress.

Now if I can just get him to settle down inside the house.  It’s too cold for the front door to be open!

Posted in Max, my life, weather | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment