Yep, it’s Saturday night
Every week, same thing
Nope, not gonna fall asleep
Sure, you’re not
And then you do
Why do I even think it might be different this week? I just want to run away from home right now.
Last week I found a lump under Max’s front right armpit, more on the chest area. Immediate panic set in. I called the vet in the morning, made an appointment. I was taking him to the groomer that day, so I had her check it – she’s been around a gazillion dogs and I trust her – she said she was 99% sure it was a lipoma but to get it checked.
Fast forward to today, with me getting more scared by the day and trying not to show it.
Doctor Dave felt the lump, immediately said “lipoma” then looked at me and said, “we need to have the lump talk.” Oh, shit. He wanted to tell me what to look for, where to look, when to be concerned. Then he said that the only way to be 100% sure was to do a needle aspiration (I think that’s the term?) and I said, “Yes, please!” Ten minutes later, tops, he came in, thumbs up, all clear, just a fatty lump.
I think I might stop crying tears of relief and hugging him sometime next year. 🙂
I have chondritis, actually I have the worst form, Tietze’s syndrome. I refer to it as my affliction – an appellation that makes me laugh. It’s mostly annoying, some days it interferes with my life – those are the bad days – but for the most part I deal with it. If you look it up, it tells you that this is something that usually lasts for a few weeks and then goes away. HA! I’ve had it for over a year, and from reading blogs and forums, I’m not alone.
It affects my chest, my ribs, my back, my shoulders. Wearing a bra is an exercise in how much pain I can tolerate. I heard about this Genie bra – so off I went to CVS to check out their “As seen on TV” section. They had them, I bought a set, told the girl that I hoped it didn’t hurt and she said I could bring it back if I didn’t like it. Really? Hot damn! I tried it today, and at first it seemed okay. It actually seemed comfortable for a bit. And then it didn’t. SIgh, Another one bites the dust. We shall now see if they really will take it back. If not, another $20 down the drain.
On another note – one of my friends trains dogs for Seeing Eye and she teaches them this command – “ignore.” I’ve decided I need to learn that myself. Tonight my granddaughter posted a picture on facebook of herself and her cousin, wearing t-shirts tied up under their boobs, and skirts that were pushed down below the navel. I commented that I didn’t think it was something that should be on facebook. Oh, the drama. Yeah, well, some guy I don’t know telling her to make it so only certain people can see it is not really cool, either. But her mom thinks it’s cute – so how do I fight that? “Ignore!”
I woke up hurting. I thought that putting on a bra would help, but it was a mistake – it just made it worse. I thought that taking Max for a walk would make me feel better. It made it worse. I had fallen asleep with the heating pad on my ribs and it took forever to shake the groggy feeling. So I thought we’d go for a walk when I got back from groceries, because I was feeling guilty and thinking that it wouldn’t make me feel any worse. Yeah, it did. I lost my patience, lost my temper, and came very close to leaving Max at the park. Sigh
And I’m worried about him, about the lump I found, and if one more person tells me how their dog went from being perfectly healthy to dead in 2 weeks, I may just scream.
And to top it off, one of my favorite people in the world – well, she used to be – fell off the wagon 4 years ago and it’s been drama after drama since. She’s currently in another crisis and I’m fucking sick of it.
Cranky. Yes, hurting makes me cranky. And frustration makes me cranky. I’m frustrated with hurting, and with Max not listening, and with students and just with not having enough time to do what I want. Sigh
The groomer is 99% positive it’s a lipoma, but I called the vet anyway. Can’t hurt to be sure. He’s very tired now, getting groomed takes a lot out of him. And we’ve been busy since last Wednesday, my plan is to keep him occupied during the day so he’ll be calmer at night, and maybe he’ll start to see me as more than the giver of treats and start listening a bit better.
I got another block finished – 31 down, 50 to go. I plan to get the 4th row done this week. I can do it!
I got offered a third class today for Fall. Yay, me!
The plan for tomorrow is to take a walk, go to Petsmart, do some training, make a new recipe for supper, and work on practice sets for class.
Just found a lump under Max’s armpit – and from what I’m reading online, it seems like a lipoma.
He has the groomer tomorrow, so I’ll have her check on it. And then we’ll most likely be off to the vet.
I’ve dreaded this. But I’m strangely calm.
I have chondritis. It makes my chest hurt, and wearing a bra is sometimes an exercise in “how much pain can I take today?” I have sports bras, underwire bras (evil, they are evil!) and bras that are just pieces of lace with no support at all, and some that are too tight and some that are too loose, and some that I can wear for a day or so, and some that I can wear for a few minutes.
I would LOVE to find a bra that I can wear regularly. So I read about this Coobie bra, but I really don’t want to order something that I’ve never seen. Sigh. What to do?
On another note – I’m watching The Bible on History Channel. It’s inspired me to read the Bible again – how modern of me, I’m reading it on my Kindle with an app that tells me what I should read each day and keeps track of my progress. 🙂 Not that I’ll ever be totally converted, there’s too much witch in my blood, but I do like to read the stories and I really like to be able to tell Bible thumpers that “yes, I’ve read the Bible. Several times. Have YOU?”
The lack of snow and cold, although it WAS cold, has apparently made for early onset of allergies. I have a headache that won’t quit, a stuffed up nose, clogged up sinuses, a bit of a cough, and I’m snoring like a chain saw. Yes, it’s uncomfortable. But it’s still better than snow!
But he’s driving me crazy the last couple of days. I know that part of it is that we can’t take a walk, and he’s got too much energy.
He’s not listening AT ALL and that just makes me so mad, which doesn’t help matters.
It’s just been an ugly week here emotionally. Hopefully, Spring will spring soon and we’ll get back to happy chipper wonderfulness!
snugglin with his eddeee bare
Well, I thought I had the anxiety under control, the few times it’s snowed I’ve been fine. I went out in it – went to the store – no problems. I was a little shaky when I slid on the driveway, but it was okay. I thought maybe I was over it.
I was wrong. They’ve been hyping a storm since last week, and the closer it gets, the more the hype. I’m tired, it’s been a long day, and too much to get done. So I’m stressed out and missing the Bear and wishing he was home. Max does the in/out routine only with me, and it adds to my stress. And I want my laptop. I was so sure this guy would be able to fix it, but it doesn’t seem like he listened to me when I told him what it was doing. I’m not real happy about that, or about the new one probably being delivered when the snow is falling. I don’t know what UPS does if they can’t make it up your driveway. Maybe it won’t come till Thursday. I can hope.
So I had a meltdown. But I’m better. And by Thursday night this will all be a memory. I’m just pissed at myself, and the news media.
Suziecreamcheese Sings the Blues 
