I teach accounting. If you don’t know that, you must be new here. I assign a comprehensive problem to my second level class. It requires them to do journal entries, t-accounts, trial balances and financial statements. Is it a lot of work? Yes, it is. Is this college? Why, yes, yes it is. Because I’m not a total slave driver – am I allowed to say that, slave driver? Is that now politicallly incorrect, banned, problematic? I digress. I created a template for them to use to do this homework. There are blank journal pages, t-accounts, etc. For some months, I even filled in the beginning balances in the t-accounts so they wouldn’t have to do all that.

The other day a student asked to speak to me after class. Fine, what now? She was off by $5000 in her trial balance. As the conversation went on, it became apparent that she knew where the mistake was. I realized that I had actually made the mistake when I filled in the balances for the students. I said, oh, oops, sorry.

Her reaction? “OH MY GOOOODDDDDDD!” Ummm, what? I said, “it’s okay, just take out the wrong number and it will be fine. Her response? “OH MY GOOOOOOOOOODDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD!” This was her response 4 times. Yes, I said FOUR times.

I finally said, and I’ll probably get in trouble, “OH MY GODDD, WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO?” She looked astonished. Again, I said, “WELL?” She said, “well, nothing, I guess, I’ll just change the beginning balance.”

I’m still shaking my head. Like, what in the actual fuck was that?

In other news, the baking of the mayonaise cake is being postponed because we have a plethora of cookies and one whoopie pie. However, there will be lasagna for dinner. The sauce will be started at 4, and the cheese cutting will be started at about 6. Dinner will be served at approximately 8:30. Yes, we eat late. If you eat early and would like second dinner, come on over.

Meanwhile, I’m supposed to be grading midterms and homework. I would rather be sewing. Can I have an adult beverage please? Because …………..OH MY GOOOOOOOODDDDDDDDDD, these kids are ……………not catching a clue