Being a student, once again

Posted on February 9, 2014 by suziecreamcheese

It’s been a few years since grad school.   I had forgotten how stressful it is to be a student.   Holy cow!

I’m taking a class online to learn to teach online.   It’s interesting, and I’m learning a lot, it hasn’t yet been as much work as I expected but the homework!  I want to get it right, I want to make sure I have everything done, I didn’t do well on one of the quizzes and I stressed about that for a whole day.   On top of this, I’m teaching two classes that I haven’t taught before and I feel like I’m relearning all that information, too.

And then there’s the stupid weather, which is stressing me out, even though I’m trying not to let it.   Forecasts for Wednesday on Sunday just don’t make sense to me.   Things change too fast.   I was following one weather group, because they were pretty accurate and didn’t hype, but they’ve gotten really popular and now they’re posting things, in huge letters, like “POSSIBLE STORM!  SHARE! SHARE!”   Oh, please.   Can you just quit it?   And get spell check, for heaven’s sake.   I can’t put much stock in a group that can’t spell “guidance,” when they’re using that term over and over.

I keep hearing people say they love snow, they love winter.  Really?  I love putting on 8 layers of clothing to take the dog out, so he can stand there and stare at me like I lost my mind.  I love trying to walk on ruts and hills and valleys of frozen, ice covered crap, because it melted, refroze, and then got another layer of snow on top of that.   I love twisting my ankle one more time (or twelve) because of the ruts.   Yep, that’s a whole barrel of fun.   I love wondering if I’ll make it up the driveway, if school will be canceled and if it is, how are we going to make up the time we’ve missed?  I love being cold, and I really love the way my chondritis flares when I’ve been shoveling.   Yeah, there is just SO much to love.  Oh, wait, I forgot how much I love the ice storms – when the power goes out.  I am grateful for the fireplace, at least we had heat.   I love trying to make plans, only to have them canceled because of snow.   I just freaking love every part of it.

K, end of that rant.   I’m tired.   This is really really tiring!   I still have all the regular stuff to do, and trying to plan around storms is just adding to the stress.   But I’ll make it through.   It’s only a little over a month till Spring, and then a weight will lift.

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the agony of the feet

Posted on February 1, 2014 by suziecreamcheese

I just realized it’s been almost 3 weeks since the initial foot injury

 

Yeah, it’s not a problem, no reason to go to the doctor

feh

 

 

 

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Oh, no, the lights went out!

Posted on January 17, 2014 by suziecreamcheese

The little things we take for granted.   

I took Max for a long ride, and 15 minutes after we got home, the power blinked off.   What?  How can I obsessively check the weather without a tv, without the internet, without constant updates about how it might snow a week from next Tuesday if the stars align correctly?   DISASTER!

The small fact that the furnace wasn’t running and it’s Winter and hence, kinda cold, was a minor worry.   

Or maybe someone was trying to tell me something – the power came back on right after the news ended.    🙂  I guess I’ll have to check elsewhere to see if we’re all gonna die next week. 

 

Meanwhile, I think I’ll plan a trip to Hobby Lobby next week.

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Incapacitated

Posted on January 10, 2014 by suziecreamcheese

I am not accustomed to sitting around and doing nothing.  I love my days off, I love to sit on my swing and read and watch the trees and the critters, I love to zone in front of the tv for an hour or so  ~~insert admission of addiction to Real Housewives of Beverly Hills here~~ and I love to just lose myself in a computer game.

I also like to get up and go to the bathroom, get a drink, wander about, think of twelve things I need to do right now and dash off to do them, and THEN settle back down and do nothing for a few minutes.

I managed to twist my ankle, and do some damage to my foot in the process, the other day.   It hurt at first and then settled into a “well, that wasn’t pleasant” kind of ache.   The weather has been frightful.   Max had surgery and wasn’t able to do much.  It was a nice day, and we both seriously needed to get out and go for a walk.

An hour later – “wow, this thing has swollen up and hurts like HOLY SHIT IT HURTS!”

I couldn’t put any weight on it at all.   I was hobbling around, holding onto stuff, cursing and laughing.   How can you not laugh when you did it to yourself?

The next day, still swollen, still hurting, I was grounded.    I spent the day with my foot propped on a pillow, ice bag draped around it, unable to get a shoe on, and thinking this would be just great, I could just be a slug all day.

I was so bored by 6:30 I wanted to cry.

Today, feeling much better, and actually able to get a shoe on, I took a walk up to get the mail.

Back to my chair with my foot propped up.

I ever end up really hurt, it’s gonna be ugly!

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I wish

Posted on January 7, 2014 by suziecreamcheese

I wish

Apparently my best trick is pissing people off

 

Well, we all have to be good at something

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Snow – again

Posted on January 2, 2014 by suziecreamcheese

I have snow anxiety

No news there

I follow several weather pages on facebook, check the national weather service, accuweather (which isn’t very), weather channel (please stop naming snow storms, it’s stupid) and the local tv stations.   It’s supposed to snow tomorrow.   The forecasts call for anywhere from 2 inches to over a foot.   I’ve never seen such disparity and I’m confused as to what’s going on.   

My chondritis isn’t flaring at all.   Every time we’ve had bad weather, I’ve had pain, searing pain, sharp pains, pain that put me on the sofa with a heating pad.   I started taking coconut oil and tumeric and there’s been a huge improvement – but I’ve still had aches and pains when it’s been cold and when it’s snowing and when it’s raining.   I got nothin this time.   So we shall see.   Are the fearcasters right?  Are the local stations right?   This will be interesting.

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Zeke

Posted on December 31, 2013 by suziecreamcheese

My y best friend rescued a Yellow lab almost three years ago- his name is Zeke

Zeke has issues 
I am one of the few people he trusts – and this baffled everyone until I told one of my friends about the first time I met Zeke
It seems that everyone approached him with caution, having heard that he had Issues
I sat down on the floor and held out my arms to him
He climbed all over me, jumped on me, mouthed me – pretty hard but didn’t break skin – and I laughed and laughed
It seems that I established myself as not as threat and just a playmate

I’m quite proud of this, of Zeke for accepting my love, and of myself for offering it so easily

I walked out that night with bruises on my body, but joy in my heart

Zeke still has issues, and I still get on the floor with him, and he still jumps all over me and leaves me with bruises – and he still makes me smile.   

I so often feel that I’ve failed the ones I love.   I haven’t failed Zeke.   

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Stressing out and tears don’t help

Posted on December 14, 2013 by suziecreamcheese

But I can’t stop them from falling

Bear has to work.  He had to go to work in the snow and I’m scared shitless about the roads.   He’s been gone 1/2 hour, and he’s gonna call when he gets there, and I’m sitting here bawling   Just please call and tell me you’re safe.

I am so gonna start drinking when he gets home later.

It’s been a day of trying to keep it together.   I took Max for a walk, he pulled because I had forgotten to switch his flat collar for his martingale, so I’m sore across the chest.  Then I cleaned bathrooms, and that made the muscles hurt more.   I was going to make applesauce but I didn’t think peeling apples was a good idea when I was already hurting.   I’m a big ball of tense muscles right now, and I won’t relax till I know he’s okay.   

It’s been almost 40 minutes.   He should be there.   

I’ve been telling myself that I’ve lived through enough winters that I know it’s gonna be okay, that we’ll make it through this one, too.  It’s not working.   Three storms in one week, and flashing back to 4 years ago when we got three feet in one storm, and then another three feet a few days later, and my nerves are shot.   And the stupid fearcasters just WON’T SHUT UP!  

I’ve been posting about it all day myself, so I shouldn’t talk.   

Okay.  He needs to call and then I can go make applesauce, or play the organ or grade exams or something to take my mind off it till he’s home safe.   

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CPA?

Posted on December 2, 2013 by suziecreamcheese

Yesterday, my love stated that he would like me to take the CPA exam.   

WHUUUUUTTTT?
okay then

I guess we do some research 

 

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Choices

Posted on November 28, 2013 by suziecreamcheese

Thanksgiving traditions were born a few years ago.   We host dinner, on Friday.  We do all the cooking, all the cleanup.   We send home leftovers with everyone who comes.   We ask nothing of them, except their presence.

This year, drama ensued.   First one decided not to come, then the rest.  

Sadness, and stress, tears and blame.   

It was not my choice for them to not come.   It is, however, my choice to be upset about it or not.  

I choose to not let them think they’ve won a victory.  I choose to celebrate the day, to make dinner for my family – my husband and my dog – and to be thankful for what I have.   This is not my loss.  It’s hers.  

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