Apparently I have extremely dry eyes. Well, I knew that, but not the extent. I woke up this morning barely able to open my eyes, in pain and not able to tolerate light. I used the drops, which helped a bit, and put on my sunglasses. I soooooooooo want to rub my eye, but nope, not doing it. After I consulted Google, (hint, don’t consult Google) I called my eye doctor and left a message. Then stumbled to the sofa and napped for about an hour. When I woke up, the pain was nearly gone, but I’m still blurry. She called, I told her what was going on, she said “dry eyes, use Systane throughout the day.” “And don’t Google, it’ll tell you infection no matter what.” (She’s very smart)
Blurry is apparently normal and so is light sensitivity. A friend told me she wore sunglasses, inside, for over a week. So that bit of panic can subside.
In other news, Maverick appears to be actively mourning the loss of his dad. Up till now, he’s been fairly normal, and I’ve been trying to keep things as normal as possible. This past week has been anything but normal. On Sunday, my neighbor came up with the kid who cleans for me to work on the Farm-all. Not only did the activity down by the shed rile Maverick up, the visit from a teenage girl was even more exciting. And he loves the Farmer, so he was all beside himself. On Monday, he went to daycare – all good. Tuesday, one of my friends picked him up from daycare because I couldn’t drive – he adores this lady so he was all beside himself once again. I kept him home on Wednesday, I was still wearing the eye shield on my right eye and the left is just useless, so I didn’t trust myself to drive even the mile down the road to his daycare. The same friend picked me up and took me to my checkup and then visited awhile after we got home. Again, he was beside himself. To the point of humping his pillow till he’s got himself chafed – which started a chain of licking and refusing to stop. The diagnosis – from a few who seem to know more than me – (but probably don’t) – stress, and finally realizing that Daddee is gone. (It takes dogs awhile to understand this, apparently) So after a come to Jesus meeting last night about his licking, he is now just depressed.
I’m going to CVS and then cutting fabric for two twin quilts today and just letting both of us have some peace. I think people who aren’t on this journey don’t realize that it’s necessary to just sit sometimes. My friends want to keep me distracted and I love them for that – but they also have come to understand that I need to grieve, and when I ask for a day, they check in and then let me have that time. I didn’t realize before this how very blessed I am to have them.
*Yes, I will post pictures of the quilts when done. They will not be as lovely as those of a certain Bitey Dog, but I do my best!
Suziecreamcheese Sings the Blues 
Yes, I wore my sunglasses all the time for about a week with my first eye. With my second eye, I ended up buying an eye patch as that eye was super sensitive to the light. I got it at Walmart for around $5.00. Mr. Aitch told me to paint a white skull and crossbones on it. I didn’t but wish I did.
The dryness will get better. My eye doctor recommended Oasis eye drops and gave me some samples. Those eye drops are only available through your eye professional or Amazon though they are not a prescription. Systane was the second recommendation.
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Another friend just told me she wore sunglasses for a week too. I got Systanr drops and gel, I’ll use them up and look for the Oasis
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I am really grateful that you are sharing your grief journey with us. I will be starting mine sooner than I’d like, and it helps to know what to expect. Even small details like when to be by yourself or how to transfer a title are all very valuable.
I hope that your eye are feeling more comfortable! Are the drops helping enough? At night, if you need more, there are ointment-type things that make sleep more comfortable.
Is there anything to be done about doggie anxiety? Do they have Puppy Prozac or calming chews that might help Maverick? I bet he enjoys seeing his friends at Doggy Daycare.
Ooh, I can’t wait to see the quilt! (And don’t compare yourself to that Bitey B*tch. Your work is miles ahead of hers!)
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I dunno, I’ve seen her work and she’s pretty damned good!
I have calming pills for Maverick, gave him one last night and one this morning and will probably give another tonight. They pretty much knock him out and that’s okay, if he’s sleeping, he’s not chewing. I’ll give him one tomorrow before I leave for church.
I got an ointment for overnight. I’m sorry to hear that you will soon be grieving. If I can help in any way, I will.
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Just being there is a great help!
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You know part of Maverick’s anxiety might not only be grief of Bear missing and not understanding why, but also worry when his routine has changed to any degree atm, and someone else picks him up that you might disappear as well. It’s going to take him a while to get use to not having Bear there, I mean he’s always been there. Both of you need each other.
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It’s been a very hectic week and he doesn’t do well with change, so I think you’re right. Next week is more normal so hopefully he’ll relax. Tomorrow is breakfast on the porch, church, then I think the Farmer will be up to work on the tractor. All our normal Sunday. Monday he will hopefully go to daycare.
I think this is also a part of grieving that no one prepares for- pets, children, anyone who doesn’t understand why the world is upside down – having to figure that out while dealing with your own emotions.
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