Barking dogs and broken glasses

So the other night when I went to bed, the bow fell off my glasses. I’d like to say it was because of some vigorous activity but alas, it was just me taking them off to place them on the headboard. I am blind as the proverbial bat. (and this is where my mind goes these days – I hope that isn’t offensive to bats) My glasses are never far from me because I quite literally cannot see more than a few inches before it all turns to a blur. (I was going to type “feet” but I took them off to check and the computer screen went all blurry) (I have a second pair, settle down, Beavis, I’m getting there)

I was all snug in bed and decided that the broken bow – it actually wasn’t broken, it just fell off – could wait till morning. Bear got out the trusty crazy glue (don’t put it in your hair, by the way) (wait, that’s Gorilla glue, you might be okay with Crazy Glue) and fixed the damage. Sort of. I think there may have been a piece lost because that bow is a bit floppy, so my glasses slide off a lot.

Thankfully, I never get rid of the last pair. (See, I told you to hold on) They’re not perfect but they’re better than stumbling about the house and considering that I do need to drive most days, they keep me from crashing the car into things. Bear gets cranky when I break the car. It’s okay if I break me, but damn, that car is precious!

So I gave up the struggle yesterday because even though the old ones stay on my face, I don’t see as well as I should and I can’t read with them so there’s that. If I can’t read, well, it’s not a happy thing. Me without a book is like a day without sunshine. (That is a pathetic analogy but I’m getting there too)

Today I’m driving out to the optometrist to get the glasses fixed. I invariably get lost going there so I brought in Stephanie and got her ready. (Stephanie is my GPS, as in “No, Stephanie, you bitch, I will NOT take a right, so recalculate now!) (Don’t judge) My appointment is at 4:30. I have a faculty meeting at 3:30 that better not last long because I’m planning on giving myself ample time to get lost, even with Stephanie yelling at me to turn right. Has she not figured out that you have to yell DEBIT or CREDIT at me? Geesh

There’s been a slow leak in our propane tank for a couple months. Nothing serious but damned if I’m paying for that stuff and having it leak out. So the company was called and an appointment was made to fix it. For 8:00 am. This morning. We were ready for Maverick to be a barking fool, he doesn’t like it when people come on his property.

The guy showed up at 6:30. SIx effin thirty. This morning. And the barking commenced. It would stop for a bit, then start again. Each time it stopped, I nodded off. Each time it started, Bear yelled. (I’ve told him that yelling is the equivalent of barking and Maverick thinks he’s just joining in, but men don’t listen to dog training tips because they don’t. And I don’t care if that’s sexist. It may be but it’s also true.) After about a half hour which seemed like 7 years, I got up. Maverick and I snuggled on the sofa awhile and then the barking started again. At this point, the guy needed to come into the house, I got a leash on Maverick and the wrestling match began.

He’s effin strong. (Sorry, Kristi, I’m tired) I had the leash in my left hand. Wrong move, that’s my weak side, so now I’m nursing a broken boob. Oh hush, I know you can’t break your boob. Well, I don’t think you can. There’s a muscle that I’m pretty sure is already either strained or torn and he made it worse – my fault, use the right hand, dumbass!

The good thing is he’s tired right out from 3 hours of the guy being here, and then a long walk at a windy park. The bad news is that I got 5 hours of sleep and I can’t nap, no time and it normally makes me feel wonky if I don’t sleep for more than a couple of hours.

I’m gonna sew hats and refrain from answering student emails today. I think that’s the best decision.

Also, and this is random, I’m sort of wondering if any of the people who thought Cuomo was doing such a great job with the pandemic still think that.

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18 Responses to Barking dogs and broken glasses

  1. We named our GPS “Garmina” and both Mr. Aitch and I talk, curse, yell and generally make fun of her. If our grandkids are with us, we usually just make fun of her. No cursing or yelling.

    If a part of ones body hurts, it is broken regardless if it can actually break.

    Good luck with your optometrist appointment.

    Liked by 1 person

    • in that case most of my body is broken. 🙂 One of my friends named Stephanie, we were going somewhere and she told us to turn and my friend said, “Stephanie, shut the hell up.” I laughed so hard I almost had to pull over.
      I always tried not to curse when I had the kids with me. According to my oldest nephew, I failed miserably and he can accurately describe the first time he heard me drop an F bomb while driving. 🙂 I tell him I taught him well

      Liked by 1 person

  2. You should get a Flexi-leash. It would have likely prevented the boob injury. I feel your pain about poor vision as I, too, can get to the big “E” but fail to go further down the chart. Daytime hours I rely on my contacts but in the evenings it’s back to the eyeglasses with lenses like beer goggles. I use my phone as my car-navi and keep changing the voice options when I feel I have offended the current one. It was a British guy up until a few days ago and I reveled in responding “F-Off Limey!” to his oh so posh and plummy tones telling to go the wrong way down a one way street. Currently I have a rather high-pitched woman’s voice giving me instructions and I have descended into sexist remarks about females and their sense of direction; a condition that someone once told me: “And I don’t care if that’s sexist. It may be but it’s also true.”

    Liked by 2 people

  3. ReginaMary says:

    You are too funny. I spent the day at the eye doctor, too. Well, not the day. I needed new glasses. I think if there is a dog that can break a boob, Maverick is it! What age are your students? I am at the middle school, so 6-8. Initially, the very first month of the pandemic, I truly thought Cuomo was doing the right thing. I started to question his behavior when he refused the two hospitals because they were ‘from Trump’ and put the elderly back into nursing homes. Then, whenever we needed guidance on school, he would wait until a Friday afternoon and basically say “it is up to the counties and school districts”. We literally had less than a month to submit our “plan” and put it into place. Unreal. It’s just been the blame game ever since. I am tired of his sarcastic attitude. Done.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I teach at the community college. We’re waiting now to hear if we’ll go back on campus in the Fall. We went out for Spring Break last year and haven’t been back since. I thought that my governor was doing the right thing for about two weeks and then I started to question his continued closures that had no basis in science, and his refusal to release the data that he was using to make these decisions. Why? Because he finally had to admit that there WAS NO DATA.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. I hope you can see now. And that Stephanie got you there without incident. My husband’s car has GPS. We call her Caroline. Caroline is a bitch and I take great pleasure from having my husband go a different way than she wants. I keep a GPS in my head and can get to most any place I’ve ever been. It’s my super power along with getting one more squirt from the toothpaste tube.
    I can’t even think about Cuomo without wanting to scream. He had the hospital ship and the field hospital and his ego couldn’t put people before his personal feelings about Trump. My governor was as bad. Mine whined about how he couldn’t see his father who was in assisted living. I’m sure no Covid patients went there.
    Maverick sounds like a protective dog:) I hope you heal:)

    Liked by 1 person

    • We got there and back even though Stephanie told me to take a left on the next street when I was right next to the building. Stephanie is a bitch as well. I need her though, I can get lost in a phone booth.
      I kept saying that about Cuomo and people were telling me he was doing such a great job. I sometimes feel like I’m living The Emperor’s New Clothes. Also? Our health secretary, who is now the assistant national health secretary, pulled her mom out of a nursing home when this started. Took a lot of heat when that came out but obviously it didn’t matter.

      Liked by 1 person

      • I keep waiting for someone to say this is all a joke. The level of absurdity increases every day. It’s as if almost no one notices.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Oh my gosh, I feel the same way! I think a lot of people are just scared to speak up. Yesterday I had a conversation with a lady at our groomer’s who said to me, “I can’t believe you’re a teacher!” because of the things I was saying. We’re being handed a tissue of lies from all sides.

        Liked by 1 person

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