Sometimes I’m not sure where home really is.
I moved here 17 years ago, in the midst of a terrible, confusing, dark time in my life. The only light was my Bear – he held the broken pieces of me safe and helped me to put them back together. And I built a life here.
But there are times. I go back “home” every year because I have family, and memories, and history there. It isn’t home anymore. It’s the place I used to live, and the place I still love, but not the place I’ll ever call home again.
I leave some tears behind each year, mostly at the cemetery, because I don’t think you ever stop missing your mom and dad, no matter how many years they’ve been gone.
I cry when I get home because this is where I know I belong.
And then the days become routine and I feel like maybe I don’t. I’m a stranger still, in a strange land.
And the weeks roll around, and it’s time for diamonds and dinner with four of the most beautiful, wonderful, people, in this crazy world. For a few hours, we eat and talk and laugh and do silly things and tease each other (please, don’t let the food be dry!) and then…………. I go home.
I am blessed to have two families. One by blood – where I grew up. One by choice – where I live now. My heart is home and I am so grateful for the joy that just bubbles up from a night of food, talk, laughter and love.
Home is where the heart is…and yours is everywhere!
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sometimes it seems that way!
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I like to hear people’s thoughts about “home.” It is certainly something different for each person and few are the Hallmark card variety. Some folks love home. Some hate the the home from which they came. The AJF and I are apex predators, meaning we have no parents, siblings, uncles, aunts, or cousins (maybe an odd one here or there and I chose that adjective carefully) or other relations still alive. We’re at the tippy-top of the family tree. So “home” for us is anywhere as long as we are with each other and of course we’ll share our home with the little white dog.
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It’s very similar here, Bear and Maverick and I are pretty much all we have. (Other than my wonderful dog lady friends) My relatives are all 350 miles away and his have little to do with us. I have never regretted leaving behind the place I grew up, my relatives put the fun in dysfunctional – it’s amusing to hear about the drama but it was never a joy to live it, although I do admit to stirring the pot every now and again. 🙂
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You are one of the very few people who make me feel like “home.” 💛💛💛
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