Google is not your friend

Well, not mine, anyway. I’m a hypochondriac. I get a pain, and I know I’m dying. Seriously, I’ve been at death’s door so many times that Death is probably ready to just boot my ass through to get it over with.

I know better, but I do it anyway. I google my symptoms. You know, there’s not a single thing that is not a symptom of cancer? I swear! Cough once at 3:00 pm and you’ve got cancer. That little toe hurts? You’ve got cancer.

It might be Covid

Nope, it’s cancer.

Maybe it’s Covid. Hell, even if it’s cancer, they’ll put it down as Covid.

I’m screwed, either way.

I digress. There is a point to this. Well, there usually is, but I like to take the scenic route, okay?

I go to NY every summer to visit family. There was a period where I didn’t go – about 6 years passed – because family stuff gets stupid, especially with my family. But since the family members I like are all aging, I’ve been trying to go every year for the past 10 years or so. Last year, I made three trips. Technically, two trips were in 2018 and two in 2019, but one of those was in December so it felt like three in one year. I usually go in June or July, depending on when I have to teach. This summer everything was online because we were all going to die of Covid, or cancer, or both. And everything was shut down because we were all gonna die, which was kinda stupid because since we were all gonna die, why not make our last few days one hell of a good time?

I digressed again. I put off my trip because of all this stuff. (Didn’t want to die stuck in a motel room in Upstate NY because of quarantining and stuff) I finally said screw it. No, I said far worse than that but you all think I’m a princess and I don’t want to spoil your vision of me. Stop laughing now.

I decided I was going, come hell or high water, as my sainted mother would say. (She had a million sayings and I wish I could remember them all.) It’s been a huge hassle, Bear works for the school and first couldn’t get the time off, which is necessary because we won’t leave Maverick alone all day – that’s not fair to him and I won’t do it – and then he got the time off and I made plans and then they decided to change the day that school starts, so he can’t get the time off, so I had to change my plans (I may punch someone, let the kids go back to school, dammit) And then they changed it again on us.

Today I decided to cancel the trip. Then he came home and said he got things worked out and I should go. I’m gonna pack and hope for the best and if I have to cancel, I’m gonna cry a lot and scream a lot and probably kick something and hurt my toes – and then I’ll google toe pain and know I have foot cancer.

Or maybe Covid.

This entry was posted in Corona virus, family, home, my life, vacation and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

10 Responses to Google is not your friend

  1. Bitey Dog says:

    Ach, my Like button still wonโ€™t work.

    You had me rolling on the floor! Really, since we are all 100% guaranteed to catch covid and 100% guaranteed to die of it, why worry so much? I want to live like that beer commercial where they claimed that the end of the world was overrated and the bar patrons danced as the earth fell apart.

    Sending good wishes for a great and memorable visit with family. Take lots of pictures and remember to turn your phone on and keep it with you at all times for social contact tracing!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Guilty as well! But my reasoning is so that I can expect the worst, knowing then that I won’t be disappointed if it’s not “the worst”! I’ve decided that there are too many books on having a baby and not enough books on growing old. How do we know if something we feel is serious or just ‘growing old’ pain? Frustrates me!

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Ah yes, Web MD, the universal cancer dispenser of the web. Hope you get to tkae that trip in the near future and that your family tree forks again. ๐Ÿ˜

    Liked by 1 person

  4. You made me snort-laugh! I can relate. I don’t even google med-stuff anymore because it’s never positive.
    But, having had cancer 5 years ago…I can now say google was right once. ๐Ÿ˜‰ ๐Ÿ˜€

    Have a great trip! Let us know how things go! ๐Ÿ™‚
    HUGS!!! ๐Ÿ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

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