Holiday blues

They’ve hit hard this year. I’m not sure why this year is worse than others, last year was darkened by the sudden death of my brother in law but even then I wasn’t nearly as sad as I am this year.

I’m missing the old days. We did Christmas when I was a kid like there would never be another Christmas and this one had to be the best ever. I spent hours shopping, in stores and online, looking for the perfect present. We started planning in the summer, crafting began in June or July and there was always that last present that was just finished up Christmas Eve. It was a time of joy, of delight in watching the faces light up and hearing, “where did you FIND this? It’s perfect!” It wasn’t about the stuff – okay, it was about the stuff – but it was also about the joy of giving.

My grandchildren want money. Nothing else. Money. I feel like an ATM. There is no planning, no joy, no happy excitement. My husband makes the Grinch look like a Christmas lover. He also wants nothing. He’s more than happy to buy me presents – if I tell him what I want.

He can’t buy the joy.

Maverick will be more spoiled than normal. That may or may not make me feel worse.

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4 Responses to Holiday blues

  1. I hear ya. Each year it gets a little tougher to get peppy for Xmas. For me it helps reflecting on the times when there was a legit chance of never having another Xmas and hiw even a half-ass holiday is better than none. Liquor helps too. I mean you can’t be drinking eggnog in summer without alarming the neighbors but in December, well, boy howdy, pour me another one.

    Liked by 1 person

    • OMG, it’s been years since I had eggnog. I used to make it for my father – can’t remember the recipe but he loved it. You can put brandy in that, right? I try so hard to capture the joy and it’s just really hard when I get no co-operation at all

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  2. That “joy” of which you speak is something only vaguely remembered now. One of my favorite Christmases was as a young adult when it was decided that ALL gifts had to be homemade. I remember that my mom, who had oodles and oodles of photos stuck in albums, went through them all and made each of us our own photo album of family pictures. I remember that my younger brother made homemade Stromboli for each of us. I don’t remember what the other brother made, or heck, even what I made, but I remember those presents like it was last year.

    Money and gift cards are the rage these days. Easy to get and one size fits all. I still spend the year looking for gifts with meaning and listen when people talk about something they’d like to have (but would never buy for themselves).

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