Today was a tough day. One of my favorite dogs is going to the Bridge on Thursday, having been diagnosed with the same dread disease that took Max, and having no chance of surviving surgery and treatment, his mom has chosen to let him go while he’s still himself and still having some joy in life.
He spent lots of time with us over the years. He would come and stay while she went on vacations, and wander our fields, joyfully sniffing and drinking in smells he didn’t experience at home. At night we would put a blinking heart on his collar so we could find him in the dark, and let him and Max out to do their business while we followed along behind, keeping track of him by his red flashing light.
Max was not demonstrative normally. When I’d go out, he knew I was coming back, and when that happened, he was like, “oh, you’re home, good, get me a treat.” Thunder, on the other hand, seemed to think that every departure was the final one, and when I’d return, he would run around the house, then leap onto the sofa, then back to the floor and roll around, then back to the sofa to sit beside me and shower kisses on my face. I have to admit that I told Max to take notes, because this was pretty freakin adorable. Max sniffed in disdain and informed me he was above all that.
Today Thunder came to visit, for the last time. He’s slowed down, his fur is patchy, he’s obviously not well, but his eyes are still bright and he was so happy to see me, and Bear, he wandered the field and went into the creek and had treats and got kisses and was just blissfully unaware that his days are few.
He will going to join Max on Thursday. His mom was going to take him alone, just her and the vet, to let him go. I know the pain she’s about to feel. She thinks it hurts now, she has no clue that it’s going to be 100 times worse on Thursday. I told her I’m going with her, I will be there to say goodbye, and to hold her while she cries after.
It’s going to shatter me, but I can’t let her do this alone.