It was not the best of years. There were too many losses and not enough victories. My best friends lost parents, had spouses diagnosed with strange illnesses, had surgeries. One is still dealing with a medical issue that has been causing her difficulty all year.
Too many pets crossed the Bridge. I always think that if we get past January, we’re safe. It was February that Max got sick. I still remember that day – he wouldn’t get up, wouldn’t eat, wouldn’t move from the rug by the door. I think I knew then that he was dying, but my head wouldn’t accept what my heart was saying. The next few months are a blur, still – grief takes those memories and dims them, or we wouldn’t be able to function. I can feel his fur when I lay beside him, telling him it was okay, go find Duke, wait for me – I’ll be with you again one day, you’ll run to me and we’ll dance together in the field and Daddy will laugh and we’ll all be together again. I miss you so, my Beautiful Boy.
May – a month that never holds many smiles for me – brought us Maverick and a touch of joy, a bit of healing to my shattered heart. June brought him home, my bright, happy, curious, confident little guy – my little red angel with so much mischief in those eyes, and so much love in that heart – all for me, only me, his Mommah who can’t be away from him for a minute without him looking for me. My shining Little One, who makes me smile on the worst of days.
Work was a test of my patience. More bad news – friends losing parents, friends fighting medical issues, more deaths.
I thought we’d come through the worst when we got to December, and then the news from home that my brother in law had suddenly died.
A trip to NY, reconnecting with family – maybe my heart, that was broken so badly when my mother died, can finally heal.
My hopes for this coming year are simple. Let us be well, let us leave old hurts behind, let our hearts heal.
Let us all be okay.