In the State of Denial

Well.   Tomorrow – actually today – Max has his first chemo.   Today, he initiated play with a 10 month old puppy at the park.   When we got home, he helped Dad rake leaves – which involves him biting the rake, Dad throwing leaves on top of him, Max chasing clumps of dirt and weeds down the bank and shaking them fiercely when he reaches them, and in general just being goofy together.

This is not a dog who is acting sick.   At all.   There’s a flame burning in my heart – it was tiny at first, but it’s growing.   A flame of hope.   Everyone and everything says this isn’t beatable.  But they don’t know my Max.   They don’t know how strong he is, and how many times he’s come back from something that was supposed to take him down.

Let me hold onto that flame.    Let it grow into a conflagration and burn up all doubt.