But I can’t stop them from falling

Bear has to work.  He had to go to work in the snow and I’m scared shitless about the roads.   He’s been gone 1/2 hour, and he’s gonna call when he gets there, and I’m sitting here bawling   Just please call and tell me you’re safe.

I am so gonna start drinking when he gets home later.

It’s been a day of trying to keep it together.   I took Max for a walk, he pulled because I had forgotten to switch his flat collar for his martingale, so I’m sore across the chest.  Then I cleaned bathrooms, and that made the muscles hurt more.   I was going to make applesauce but I didn’t think peeling apples was a good idea when I was already hurting.   I’m a big ball of tense muscles right now, and I won’t relax till I know he’s okay.   

It’s been almost 40 minutes.   He should be there.   

I’ve been telling myself that I’ve lived through enough winters that I know it’s gonna be okay, that we’ll make it through this one, too.  It’s not working.   Three storms in one week, and flashing back to 4 years ago when we got three feet in one storm, and then another three feet a few days later, and my nerves are shot.   And the stupid fearcasters just WON’T SHUT UP!  

I’ve been posting about it all day myself, so I shouldn’t talk.   

Okay.  He needs to call and then I can go make applesauce, or play the organ or grade exams or something to take my mind off it till he’s home safe.