Otherwise known as yellow jackets.
I’ve always had a hard time asking for help. I have to be so incredibly frustrated with my own inability to do something that I’m in tears before I will give in and ask for help. Some of this is because I’m a stubborn sort and some is from years of Mark working weird hours and not being home when things needed done, so I had to do stuff myself.
And there are things I’ve never wanted to learn – no interest in motors, sorry, guys. Nope, not one. Let me turn the key and the car/mower/whatever does what it should do and I’m happy.
So here I am, with a ton of equipment that I don’t know how to use. (Although why anyone needs 3 weedeaters is beyond my comprehension) (I can hear him responding to that with “you have 6 sewing machines”) (Actually I have 7 but we won’t nitpick) One of the pieces of equipment that I need/want to learn to use is the zero turn mower. It hasn’t been started since May so I knew it probably wouldn’t.
The Farmer brought up a battery for it after discovering that it was in need of one. And a former student, who I think the world of but never expected to step up like this, came up yesterday to see if they could get it started and teach me, and the Farmer, how to use it.
It wouldn’t start. Not unexpected. It was also covered in leaves and spider webs, so they cleaned off what they needed, fiddled and faddled as guys do with that sort of thing, and determined that it needs some work and the Student can do it, once they can get it to his shop.
The Farmer left to go make feed for his cattle, we had coffee and a slice of cake I had made, and I suggested we see if one of the two leaf blowers (yes, we have two, not sure why we don’t have three, but again – 7 sewing machines) would start. One is gas powered, the other has a battery – and I know where the charger is, so I learned yesterday that THAT’S what that goes to! That one was fully charged, so off we went to the patio to clean off the leaves from the mower and the wood splitter. (I have no desire to learn how to use THAT thing!) Student had a grand time telling me how much power this blower has, so I said, “I wanna play!” I started blowing the leaves away from the foundation.
It was all fun and games. I got to the window well thingie, (I don’t know the technical name for that) and it was just full. I turned the blower on turbo and went to town.
And then ……………. why are the leaves hurting my face?
And I hear, “RUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” as I realize, it’s not the leaves.
I blew out a nest of yellow jackets.
They were quite royally pissed off.
Thank goodness, I am not allergic. I was handed 2 Benadryl and the Student stayed with me for a few hours just to make sure I was okay.
I’m fine.
He left, I needed a shower. Nice hot water. Minus 100 rating there, do not recommend! Holy crap the pain hit! I couldn’t stay still, it hurt to sit, to lay down, to do much of anything. I took an Ibuprofen. It took a while for the pain to slow down, then the itching started.
I think I have about 12 stings, maybe more – a few on my eyelid, that seemed to be a single one yesterday but since the swelling has gone down, it looks like maybe 3. One under my nose. The rest are on my legs, my sweatshirt protected my upper body. And holy moly, they itched last night!
I am extremely grateful for my friend. He was ready to take me to urgent care if I so much as looked wrong, and would have stayed longer had I asked. And the Farmer is going to come up and we will spray the hell out of that nest one night.
I’m going to ask for holy water tomorrow at church and pour it on the nest first. I’m thinking those little bastards will smoke when it hits them.
Satan’s minions, that’s what they are!
I hate meat bees or yellow jackets as they are more commonly called. Many an evil experience in the backcountry camping only to get attacked and they are relentless. Nuke them from orbit, it’s the only way to be sure. Your mower story reminded me of my recent generator story. I have this very nice little generator which can run the frig (beer!), freezer, some lights and my computers if the power is lost. But for over 2 years I had not run it or cleaned out the old gas or oil or done anything – I had other fish to fry during that time. So, with winter El Nino predicted to be a bitch kitty here, I decided to rev up the genny and make sure it was fit for when needed. Of course, I couldn’t start it, “Dead as Kelsey’s Ass” as we used to say as kids but I never could figure out where the expression came from. So I dismantled it, cleaned the carburetor, new oil, spark plugs, everything – no joy. YouTubed it until the apocryphal cows came home and nothing. So, tucking my tail between my legs, I swallowed a hearty measure of humble pie and dragged it off to the local small engine repair shop and $150 later it came home purring. My pride and wallet were saddened. So don’t feel bad for a recalcitrant mower; it’s just in the nature of these beats.
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It kinda sucks that we had other things to think about. 😢. I feel really blessed to have friends who can do the repairs and don’t charge me except for parts. I make sure they get paid though, I feed them well! Nuking those little bastard bees sounds like a great plan. They are evil!!!
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Since I teased on the origin of the phrase about Kelsey’s ass, I felt you deserved an explanation so I looked it up and it’s really rather interesting. Here is MR, AI’s explanation, verbatim:
The phrase “dead as Kelsey’s ass” is a colorful, vulgar variation of a historic mid-20th-century American idiom: “deader than Kelsey’s nuts.” It is used to describe something that is completely finished, unquestionably dead, or permanently defunct.
The expression has a fascinating, slightly mixed-up history that combines early 1900s car manufacturing with anatomy-based slang:
1. The Original Origin: Kelsey’s Wheels
The phrase originally had nothing to do with body parts. It traces back to John Kelsey, who founded the Kelsey Wheel Company in 1910. His company manufactured high-quality wooden and metal wheels for early automobiles, most notably for the Henry Ford Model T.
The lug nuts and bolts securing Kelsey’s wheels were famous for being incredibly tight, safe, and impossible to loosen. This spawned early 1930s idioms like:
• “Tight as Kelsey’s nuts” (meaning extremely stingy, cheap, or secure)
• “Safe as Kelsey’s nuts” (meaning a sure thing or entirely safe)
2. The Shift to “Dead” and “Ass”
By the 1950s and 1960s, the phrase evolved through casual slang. Because something tightly fastened down doesn’t move at all, people began using it to describe inanimate objects, leading to the phrase “deader than Kelsey’s nuts” (famously used often by U.S. President Richard Nixon).
Over time, because the word “nuts” doubles as an anatomical term, the slang drifted into other vulgar body variations. People began substituting “nuts” with other words for a backside—resulting in “cold as Kelsey’s ass” or “dead as Kelsey’s ass.”
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Thank you for saving me the trouble of looking that up!
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We are to serve.
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I hope you feel better and the itching stops. I unearthed a Yellowjacket nest a few years an ago. I started disrobing outside as those evil creatures flew up my shorts. I got six stings and praised God that I didn’t have an allergic reaction.
Mr. Aitch has some tools and a zero-turn lawnmower. I should learn how to at least turn them on but then I might have to actually use them. The leaf blower is my favorite and I do know how to use it. I’m happy with my circular saw, Drexel, drills, solder gun, and heavy duty staple gun.
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Oh no! That is terrifying. I am so grateful you are going to be ok. Those stings burn like hellfire! I had a similar experience with bumble bees. My oldest son tried to “rescue” one from a spider web at the base of my rose bush. The bee sounded the alarm and dozens of bumbles poured out of the ground nearby. They clung to my children’s caps and clothing. I literally threw the kids in the house to keep them from being stung. I bore the brunt. 25 stings mostly on my thighs since the bees flew up my shorts. Can’t make this up! I think any affect from the sting was annihilated by the adrenaline rush.
Yes to the holy water and if that doesn’t work a full blown exorcism! Glad you can laugh about it.
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An exorcism might be necessary!!!
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Wow that was not a good day. Yellow jackets sting pretty badly. I wish you a speedy recovery and that the swelling does not become too bad. You certainly have a lot of garden equipments of various sorts.
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It’s actually much better today except for one very sore spot. My Bear apparently bought lawn equipment like I collect sewing machines – but in all fairness, we own several acres of woods and fields and it’s all necessary stuff. He would say you need a backup if one breaks down!
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All that mowing the lawn and gardening is probably healthy. I am glad your stings are better now.
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On the mower, don’t start it with old gas in it, bad for the engine and does it need oil? Make sure that is fresh as well. I think most guys that use them regularly do that as maintenance if they haven’t used them in a while, maybe youtube would have some videos on those kinda of things.
Oh yes nasty yellow jackets! My dad cleared out a nest of them when I was probably 5 or 6 from a tree in from of our mobile home (military and so we moved alot). He said don’t come outside you might step on the dead ones, and as a little kid I thought they’re dead. HAHA, well I was barefoot and stepped on one, yeah, the stinger goes in anyway! I have never messed with bees or wasps again! Glad you are feeling better and ok, next time you get a sting put ice on it first for about 3 or 4 min (not sure about putting ice on your eye, ask a dr about that, through a light weight fabric like gauze folded over several times to protect your skin from “freezer burn” :P) and then pat it dry and put about 10 drops of a good quality lavender oil in a carrier oil (I use fractionated coconut oil – fractionated just means it had a process to keep it liquid) filling a 15ml roller ball bottle, but if you are allergic to nuts you can use olive oil) on it ( trust doTERRA). It will calm the skin and help the pain, works wonders for ant bites and mosquitoes, scrapes and minor cuts and minor burns too (the burns take longer to calm down tho.) It’s one of the plants that Heavenly Father put on earth for us to use.
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Now every time you walk past that window well, you are going to cringe a little, expecting those little bastards to come after you again. Make ‘m pay!!!
I almost feel guilty that I turned out to be allergic to bees. I got a hefty dose of steroids and Benadryl that saved me from feeling a lot of the pain you are going through.
Congratulations on handling all of that equipment! Maybe soon you’ll have seven mowers to match your seven sewing machines…kind of like Seven Brides for Seven Brothers. (I only have three straight line stitchers and a serger, so I have a ways to go to catch up with you! )
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I think we may have 5 mowers already 😂. I have 5 straight stitch machines – 2 are antiques- and 2 treadles. And a serger. I miscounted!
I rarely go out there but you’re right, I’ll be on alert for anything flying!
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Oh no! I am glad you are mostly okay. I heartily agree with you that yellow jackets are the Devil’s spawn. Let’s just say there have been incidents.
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