Oh New York, you break my heart

My annual trip to the place I used to call home in under way.

I have been slapped in the face with all the reasons I left in the first place today

It’s gonna be a long week

On the good side – my adored great nephew got a job already, just out of college. I’m pretty damned proud of him.

On the bad side – my sister who has always treated me as if I were brain damaged, in spite of the three degrees I’ve managed to attain – she once described me as a “perpetual student” – is still trying to tell me what to think.

On the good side – not much was mentioned about the Rona, and nothing about politics. Phew, we are totally not in agreement about this stuff, but since I’m brain damaged, who cares what I think?

I am not a kid anymore. Why in the name of all that is holy do I let these people treat as if I am? I’m the youngest of five, one of the youngest of a plethora of grandchildren – and I mean it when I say that, my mother was one of 14 children and my father one of 6, they all believed that reproducing the species was a noble goal, so there are probably 150 grandchildren if not more. There is so latent jealousy because I was the spoiled darling of all the older kids, when they weren’t trying to throw me into a snowbank (perhaps this started my hatred of that white crap?) I was the smartest, the cutest, the one who went to college and got not one but three degrees, and also the one who stopped my life to take care of elderly parents when all the siblings went merrily on living their what others saw as normal lives. (I begrudge this not at all, I wouldn’t give up the years with my parents for anything and my life since they passed has been more than I ever dreamed it would be. Good things do come to those who wait sometimes)

However. We are not kids anymore. My oldest sister, who has been discussed previously, many times, was a joy sucker. It appears that my next older sister has taken on the role the Evil One who Shall Not Be Named deserted when she passed over into eternal flames. (Forgiveness is not one of my virtues, by the way) (That’s not true, I actually forgive pretty easily. This is a special case)

So some of my plans are being rearranged. I will spend as little time with Joy Sucker #2 as I can because I seriously don’t want to argue when I’m only here for a week. However, I won’t be a doormat. And I’ll be damned glad to get back home.

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16 Responses to Oh New York, you break my heart

  1. Why do we go back each and every time? When my parents, and after my mom passed, dad and his new wife, made the trip up from Florida, it was expected that all the siblings gather together to visit them. I had an older brother as well as the younger one I adore. I know we’re supposed to love our family, but honestly, I didn’t love him. I didn’t hate him either. I just had nothing in common with him and no desire to be around him. Still, I went every year. I did it because I wanted to see my parents, and I learned to not get into conversations with my brother except the expected, hello how are you and good bye. Please, set yourself apart for these people who have nothing better to do than tell you what’s wrong with you as much as you can. And if it helps, I DO believe that Karma bites back!

    Liked by 2 people

    • Thank you. I’m in a situation where the people I do want to see are close to the ones I don’t, so I’m kind of thrown into contact whether or not I wish it. It’s only a week, that’s my mantra! And it’s not every day, today I see people I like, tomorrow is a group thing so I can avoid, Monday and Wednesday are short visits that will be difficult but short. I’m eternally grateful for adult beverages and a private motel room!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Good luck. There are some family members who while you love them it’s really hard to like them. I have a couple in my tiny family. I hope you get more enjoyment from those you want to see to make up for the soul suckers.

    Liked by 1 person

    • My great nephew has curls the like of which are rarely seen, and he’s allowed his hair to grow long recently. There are few people who are allowed to play with those curls, but Auntie is special – there is a wide current of unconditional love flowing between him and me – and in my defense, he sat next to me, so my hand just had to reach out to that adorable head. That’s making me smile today. πŸ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Bitey Dog says:

    As I grit my teeth through events such as these, I tell myself, β€œAt least they are blog fodder”. Think of all your future posts that are practically writing themselves! (Plus they function as free therapy.) 😊

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I am not a kid anymore.

    Wow. You really are a master of understatement. Right, maverick? 😈

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Peachy says:

    We’ll need to do a Dinner & Diamonds when you get back to make up for all the negative energy πŸ˜‰ Missing you in PA!!!!!!! ❀ ❀ ❀

    P.S. I think your sister needs a hug πŸ˜€

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Difficult family is, well, difficult. Wishing you strength

    Liked by 1 person

  7. ReginaMary says:

    It is very difficult not to fall back in step with old patterns of behavior when visiting with family.

    Liked by 1 person

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