Who’s walking who?

Maverick pulls. He pulls on leash like he’s the lead dog and I’m the sled. We work on this little quirk every single freakin day. We go to the park, and we practice “Mommah doesn’t move when you try to pull her arm out of the socket.” Every single day.

We are apparently notorious at the park because sometimes Mommah loses patience with “I’ll sit here till you take a step and then it’s on, bitch!” and says, rather loudly, ‘Jesus H Christopher Christ on a pogo stick, that’s enough!” (H stands for Harry, according to my sainted mother)

Dog training is a fascinating subject. I read dog training books like some people read Harlequin romances. The best piece of advice I’ve gotten from my books is this – the hardest dog to train is your own. I can teach dogs to sit, stay, roll over, take a treat nicely from my hand, and a whole lot of other stuff. I can even take stuff from my BFF’s dog, who was abused as a pup and doesn’t trust many people.

I fail miserably with Maverick. I love that kid so much, just thinking about him makes me smile. He is so smart and so funny and so frustrating all at the same time. He’s indulged and spoiled and he blows me off when he doesn’t feel like doing what I ask. I would never accept that from another dog but this kid – I’m putty in his hands.

I don’t mind so much except that his bad behavior is making me look bad. My friends call me the Dog Whisperer – don’t get me started on Cesar Milan, k? – and I can’t even get my own silly pup to walk on leash nicely. And I probably wouldn’t even mind all that much that I look bad if it weren’t for the totally wonderful people at the park who find it necessary to comment – every. single. day.

“wow, I guess you know who’s in charge here!” No, seriously, who is in charge? I had no clue that being dragged into the bushes meant I was not in charge! Thank you for making me aware!

“He’s taking YOU for a walk!” Wow, how original! I haven’t heard that one since, oh, yesterday?

“Have you considered a prong collar?” Well, no, because I’ve considered the damage they do to a dog’s neck. (Nothing that works by causing discomfort is going to actually work – take it off and he’s gonna pull just as hard as he did before.)

“Maybe you should get a shock collar for him.” Maybe you should get one for yourself, asshole.

“Have you tried treats?” No, this bag on my hip is just for decoration.

“He needs a drink.” Apparently he doesn’t think so because water is anathema to him at the park. But yeah, since you’re worried, I’ll make sure I once again attempt to get him to drink.

And my favorite – “why isn’t your dog neutered?” What I want to say – “why are you looking at my dog’s ass?” What I do say – “because I’ve researched and learned that early neutering increases the chances of cancer in Goldens by a very large percentage and also affects their hips and knees and having lost one Golden to hemangio, I will move Heaven and Earth to keep it from happening again.” And what I also don’t say – “it’s none of your freakin business.”

I’m going to start telling people I’m training him to be a sled dog. (That was suggested by a friend and I like it.)

I think I’ve become a complete curmudgeon. Also, get off my lawn.

This entry was posted in dogs, learning, Maverick, my life, puppies, training and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

12 Responses to Who’s walking who?

  1. Bitey Dog says:

    Ha! Training him to be a sled dog! I wish I had thought of that one with my Geordie. I could teach him nearly anything, but I could not get him to stop pulling on a walk.

    Maybe just get yourself a pair of roller skates and enjoy the ride?

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Bitey Dog says:

    Geordie hated hot weather yet he loved walks. Every day he would insist we walk far away from home, then he would then find some shady spot to lie down and would refuse to move. I would end up carrying my cinder block of a dog all the way home. Every single person I walked past would have to ask, โ€œSo this is taking your dog for a walk?โ€ ๐Ÿคจ

    Liked by 1 person

    • I only had to pick up Maverick once, when he was about 10 weeks old. He’s close to 70 lbs now, so that is not about to happen! He will find shade and take a break at times, which is okay by me, I get a chance to catch my breath!

      Liked by 1 person

  3. HA! You crack me up! Love “training him to be a sled dog”! ๐Ÿ˜€ I’ve thought of that with Cooper at times…he can get in such a hurry to get to the next sniff. Ha! ๐Ÿ˜€

    Fortunately, Coop is little. Years ago we had a very big very rambunctious very prone-to run-all-the time black lab named Pepper. I used to tell people, “Pepper takes me for walks!!!” ๐Ÿ˜›

    Interesting how people want to tell other people how to deal with their dog…and often they are people who’ve never owned a dog. Okay…maybe the word is annoying and not interesting. :-/
    ((HUGS))) PATS and RUBS!!! ๐Ÿ™‚
    PS…Love the “get off my lawn” reference! ๐Ÿ˜€ I’m going now. Ha! ๐Ÿ˜›

    Liked by 2 people

    • A dear friend told me to tell people that I’m training him to be a sled dog. Max was the same way, pulled like he was the lead dog and I was the sled – when he was about 8, I got a 25 foot lead and let him sniff all he wanted because he seemed happiest when he was that far off the path. I can’t do that with Maverick because if he takes off, that gives him too much slack to get up a head of steam and then I’m the kite and he’s the one holding the string as I’m flapping along behind him!

      Liked by 2 people

  4. It’s plain that you need my unsolicited advice. First, it seems you need to show the dog who is boss. You must be firm but attentive and avoid dithering at all costs. Next, you need to address the dog in a commanding voice and stop wheedling and mumbling which only serves to confuse the gentle animal. Third, there are a number of very fine videos on YouTube, Facebook and TikTok which I can recommend so you can correct your behaviors. Don’t be afraid to ask for help at the dog community at your local leash free park. A protip: the elderly ladies and gents with yappy RV dogs are an excellent source of advice! Finally, remember that your attitude sets the dogs attitude – there is no “I” in “Team.”

    Liked by 1 person

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