Here’s my problem – Maverick would rather eat treats any day than his regular food. He’s a stubborn little shit, and will hold out all day, sniff the bowl, maybe take a bite, then walk away.

The “experts” say to pick up the bowl after 15 minutes or less, and let him wait awhile. The “experts” have never met Maverick. He totally could not care if that bowl of food is on the floor or in the fridge, he is NOT about to eat if he doesn’t want to.

The “experts” also say not to worry about it, he’ll eat eventually. Here’s my problem with that. I’m trying hard, every single day, to teach this puppy stuff, to bring out the great dog. He’s so smart – so smart that he knows full well that if he does a certain behavior, he will be treated with something delicious. At least I’ve succeeded in training that. He will NOT do much of anything unless there’s a treat involved.

The “experts” say to use his food as treats. HA! He will sniff it and walk away, with a toss of the head and if he could talk, I know he’d be saying, “fuck that shit.” (Apologies for the language, he’s a teenager, he has a bad attitude.” I know this, because I’ve tried it.

So I’m sitting here with a puppy who won’t eat his food, and won’t work with me unless I give a treat. If I give treats, he won’t eat his food. If I don’t give treats, he won’t work with me. I’d be okay with that, except then he gets bored and gets into stuff and starts destroying things.

The “experts” would probably tell me to call in a behaviorist. They’ve never met my husband, who would first laugh himself stupid at the mere suggestion, and then ask me if I’d lost my mind.

And thus ends my whine for the day. If I physically survive his puppyhood, it will be a surprise to both of us.