It’s been a long, sad, week.
The backstory – my sister and I haven’t spoken in several years. A lot of stuff went on when my mother died, a lot of lies were told, a lot of lies were believed and a lot of people chose to believe the worst about others. (I most likely was as guilty as the others. ) It often seemed as if I were alone against my entire family, with little support from anyone.
Time went on, hurts festered, nothing was said because talking about things is NOT how my family works, and years passed in silence.
Last week my brother in law died, suddenly. I loved that man, he was a genuinely nice guy who was almost universally loved, although he had a sharp wit, and could be as sarcastic and impatient as easily as he could spend hours explaining something to a child.
There was little discussion about me going to his funeral – I knew from the minute I was told of his death that I would be there, that I had to be there, that nothing would be right for any of us if I wasn’t. The weather – I checked obsessively – because I hate snow and that would have been the only thing that kept me away.
Wednesday came clear and bright, with nothing but rain in the forecast. A six hour drive took me home. Home to a sister who can only be described as fragile. This has taken a toll on her, and it scares me.
We hugged, and talked, her kids, her grandkids, and me. We laughed and cried and it was like nothing had ever happened except overnight we all got a bit grayer. I left yesterday morning, after coffee and talk with my sister, more hugs, and a promise to keep in touch.
I intend to keep that promise. I rarely make New Year’s resolutions but this one I make and this one I’ll keep – I will call the two strong women who helped shape who I am, monthly, if not more often, from now on. My life is better with them in it – for all their faults and quirks, they are who they are and I love them with all their cracks and flaws.
So out of sadness comes some peace. Thank you for that, Douglas. See you on the other side.