Looking back and looking forward

It’s gonna take more than one post to get this done but I wanted to at least make a start. It’s been a crazy ass couple of weeks, and a crazy ass year. So much happened.

The first thing I think about when I think of last year is that we lost our Anna. It was in December that she told me about the cancer, and it was six months later that she was gone. Bittersweet memories – I spent as much time as I possibly could with her in those months, and every minute was wonderful, precious, filled my heart with love and joy. She was such a special lady, more so for not knowing how very special she was. I miss her so.

Max had his first (and hopefully last) hot spots. That was brutal, for both of us. For him because of the pain, for me because of the helpless feeling of knowing he was hurting and not being able to fix it.

We walked a ton! That was a good thing, but it was also a bad thing. Max pulling on me caused chondritis flares that have gotten progressively worse.

I ended up in the ER in June. I thought it was a heart attack, but it was chondritis. It was a very scary day.

Max has continued to be a joy, and a trial. I love him so, and yet he can drive me nuts.

Work has become just that, work. I don’t love it like I used to, it’s become something I do for the money. This year I had two classes that really put me to the test, I actively disliked most of the students. But then I had two classes that I adored. I guess one balanced out the other.

Snow anxiety – still working on it, but it seems to be a little better
Anxiety in general – I’m trying to remember that I can’t control the circumstances, but I can control my reaction to them.

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