It was not the best of days

I don’t handle grief well.   I didn’t really want to get out of bed, but I made myself get up.  It was so hot, too hot to do anything outside.   Bear wasn’t feeling well – yet another worry for me – he works too hard in this heat and then pays for it the next day.  

One week ago.   Today we should have been going to visit Anna.   Instead, I stayed in bed till I couldn’t stay there any longer.  I read, and knit, and finally weeded the bank, and got dirty, and cried every once in a while. 

I know the pain will ease.  I know that she knew I loved her, and I know that she loved me, and Max.   I know that the hurt is me missing her, and that she’s dancing in Heaven, dancing with the angels, and hopefully, taking a break to go visit Hazel and Edward.  I can so clearly picture the three of them, having coffee, or a drink, and laughing, telling stories about me.  

Tomorrow will be one more day to cross off the calendar.  One more day without all the people I’ve lost.

And one more day with the man I love, the dog I love, the home I love, and the life I love.  The joy WILL defeat the pain.   It’ll just take time. 

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