It’s Christmas, dammit!

Posted on December 5, 2023 by suziecreamcheese

I admit it. I love Christmas. My mom loved decorating the tree and the house – it was never fancy but there were things that came out every year – like the elf that hung from the door between the dining room and the living room and now appears in my house each year, and the ornaments that had a special place on the tree. She was allergic to the pine and it didn’t stop her for a second, she would just scratch her arms and keep going. Yes, she loved it that much. From a very early age, we were taught the old maxim that t’is better to give than receive. My parents both spent hours making gifts, because home made are the best. My father worked with wood – I still have little cars and trucks he made, and one beautiful rocking chair for a child that I claimed when we cleaned out my parents’ house – mostly to keep the other sisters from fighting over it.

We did gifts on Christmas – we did gifts like a boss. We started in the summer, and actually didn’t buy that much, most of the gifts were handmade. I was the queen of mittens and scarves, placemats, napkins, doll clothes and stuffed toys. My mom made cowboy shirts – the kind with a different color yoke and snaps instead of buttons, because my nephew requested one just like “Uncle M’s” who wasn’t his uncle but old enough for that designation. (He drove the fire truck, which put him on the right hand of God in A’s mind)

Oh, we shopped too We bought fun things and we created fun things. One year my father made a wooden box with a hinged top that we covered with fabric and stuffing, and then we filled the box with craft supplies. My niece was 8, she loved it. I made a lot of plastic canvas things for the kids – a wickedly painful pink castle jewelry box for one kid that took so many hours – and which my brother in law threw away after my sister died.

My oldest sister was a joyless woman. She hated Christmas. I have no idea why except that she was pretty much a miserable person on a good day and she hated spending money. One year she put their Christmas tree in the spare bedroom so when there were no guests,she could close the door and forget it was there. Every year she would manage to do something to suck the joy out of Christmas for everyone else. Every year I would pray it would be different, and every year she would strike.

I am currently surrounded by joy suckers. At first I decided that i was totally skipping Christmas this year. My friends didn’t wan to exchange gifts, my “family” likes the receiving part but screw the giving, and my Bear has never had a lot of interest in decorating and all that jazz. After a week of feeling awful whenever I saw a Christmas commercial, I decided – and excuse my language, my mother would slap me, but it’s how I feel – Fuck them all.

People keep saying “I’m doing what makes ME happy this year, ” as if not doing a damned thing to spread joy deserves a medal or at least a “way to go! You do you!” Well, screw them. I’m also doing what makes ME happy. I’m putting up the tree, and decorating like Christmas threw up in this house, and baking cookies and making candy and if no one wants to do gifts, fine, I’m going to buy lottery tickets and give them to random strangers. Maybe someone will get lucky and win a bunch of money, or at least I’ll get to spread smiles.

I do, however, draw the line at Hallmark movies. 🙂

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It’s Thanksgiving

Posted on November 23, 2023 by suziecreamcheese

I have a huge family. When I was growing up, dinner was at my parents’ house, multiple aunts and uncles, sisters and their families, grandchildren and kids. As I got older, the aunts and uncles fell away and the nieces and nephews (grandchildren to my parents) multiplied. Everyone brought food but my mother did most of the cooking. We put the leaves in the dining room table and everyone sat close together, which was not a problem, made it easier to sample from each others’ plates that way.

As time went on, the nieces and nephews married and had their own families, and we started going to different homes for the big meal, but most of the time, everyone managed to show up at my parents’ house at some point for leftovers. There were always a couple of people at the dining room table, picking at the turkey carcass, eating cookies, having one more slice of pumpkin pie – the best excuse for whipped cream ever!

When my father died, my mom and I went to my sister’s house, the one who lived closest. Still, we had a small turkey the night before and there were drop-ins for leftovers later on Thanksgiving night.

Then my mom died in October. That was the first year I had Thanksgiving in PA with Bear. His son and daughter in law, and two small children came for dinner. We had a huge turkey and ran out of gas for the oven, so we ended up cooking it on the grill. No one cared, it was a fun meal and we still laugh about that turkey on the grill.

Each year, the family grew and each year, they came to us for dinner. This year, there have been changes, the kids are with partners and have other places to go, and the grandparents are very low on the list of priorities. So it’s just me and the Bear. We decided not to have a big dinner just for us. We pulled a turkey out of the freezer and it’s in the oven, we’ll have a vegetable and maybe smashed potatoes and eat at our normal time. That’s 8 pm for me, and around 11 for him, since he works second shift he isn’t used to eating at “normal” times.

It’s a very different day than the ones I remember. I’m sad – for the memories his family won’t have. But times change, life goes on. I’m grateful for the family I still have. I’m grateful for friends who laugh with me when we get lost and call it an adventure (midnight in Baltimore is something I never thought I’d experience.) I’m grateful for the parts of my body that don’t hurt, although there aren’t many of those today. I’m grateful for the soaking tub that made those parts that hurt a little less painful. I’m grateful for Maverick, as much as he challenges me. (But if he wakes me up by jumping on me one more time……………………..) I’m grateful for my life, with all the ups and downs. And I’m extremely grateful that I live in the best country in the world, no matter what anyone says.

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Well

Posted on November 9, 2023 by suziecreamcheese

We did it. On Monday night, Maverick completed the last two of ten tricks needed to earn his AKC Intermediate Trick Dog title. It was touch and go for the last couple of weeks. On Saturday he had six out of ten accepted. I had taught him to ring bells and turn on a tap light, and just needed to get them on video. He wouldn’t co-operate. He actually walked away when I asked him to do it. (Little rat) I told him I knew it was stupid and he didn’t care about it, but it was important to me, and could he please just do it once? Within a few minutes, he walked to the bells hanging on the pantry door and hit them with his nose.

LET ME GET THE CAMERA!

I got it on video, and then he decided he could tap a light and turn it on, and he did it while I still h ad the camera ready. Thank you, sweet Baby Jesus!

Sent off, approved, eight down, two to go. I thought there might be a glimmer of hope that we could actually pull this off. On Monday evening, my friend came up and helped me with the last two tricks. One involved her hiding and him finding her – something I couldn’t manage to video and get done alone. The other involved putting down three cups, one hiding a treat, and asking him to find the hot cup – the one with the treat. Again, I couldn’t do it alone because by the time I got the second cup down, he had knocked over the first.

We got them done. Sent the videos off and waited. And waited. At 9:15, I decided we weren’t going to make it after all. Oh, well, we had fun trying. And then my phone dinged. Both videos approved, meaning we had ten and that’s all we needed.

I know it may seem silly to be so freakin excited and happy about a Trick Dog title, but when you have a dog who challenges you in so many ways, to be able to work together with him and accomplish something like this is pretty fucking major.

I’m currently waiting, impatiently, for the paperwork so I can send it in and get our official certificate. Then there will be pictures and perhaps a party.

Maverick, being Maverick, has been an absolute jerk the last couple of nights But he’s a champion jerk with two titles. 🙂

Posted in dogs, learning, Maverick, training | Tagged , , | 15 Comments

When a walk becomes a blessing

Posted on October 29, 2023 by suziecreamcheese

Today’s weather is rotten. Damp, raw, gloomy, a presage of things to come, and a day that doesn’t make my summer loving soul happy.

Maverick doesn’t care. He loves outside, no matter what the weather – well, thunderstorms are the sole exception, he hates them.

It’s Sunday. Sunday means we get to walk at the park because daycare is closed on weekends, in spite of my best efforts to convince the owner that she really should be open every day. Yesterday I badly wanted to sleep in, I haven’t been sleeping well – I rarely have nightmares but when I do, they make up for all the nights they missed. I woke Bear up twice screaming. (It was bad enough that I was afraid to go back to sleep – and I didn’t get the title “Queen of Sleep” for nothing!)

Maverick had other plans. He got up with Bear at 8, after doing his usual sneak attack on Mommah’s hugging pillow – he steals it every morning, and I usually don’t even know till I actually wake up. Bear let him out to do his morning business, apparently there was an uninvited deer in the field and Maverick decided to bark for a solid 15 minutes. Under our bedroom window.

After that little episode, Bear brought him inside, whereupon Maverick ran upstairs and flung himself onto me, rolling around madly and then licking me. I refused to get up. He went downstairs. About 1/2 hour later, we repeated this. I gave in and got up, annoyed and tired and crabby.

I took him for his walk, he pulled like a tank and this didn’t improve my mood. When we got home, I put him outside, where he promptly decided to increase the size of the bomb crater he’s been working on all summer.

Bear had gone out for something and as I was bringing Maverick in, he came home, took one look and said, “what’s wrong?” I probably sounded like a 2 year old in need of a nap – “I’m exhausted, I wanted to sleep in, he’s digging a hole again, I’m just exhausted!” Bear said, “take a nap.”

So I slept all afternoon.

This morning, when the Bear got up, I closed the bedroom door behind him and slept till 11:30. As soon as I got up, the relentless dance to go to the park began. After my coffee, because I don’t do anything till after my coffee, we went to the park. In the cold, damp, dreary nastiness – Maverick dragged me around. I was heading into grumpiness when we got to the pavilion, and Maverick pulled me over to the young man who was sitting there, playing Pokemon on his phone. I gave Maverick a drink and the young man started talking to us. He told me about his college classes, I mentioned that I teach accounting and we talked about how awful tax class is.

It was a random chat with a young gentleman – and he’ll never know how he lifted my spirits and made me smile. My heart is lighter – sometimes all it takes is a random encounter to make you remember the world isn’t such a bad place after all.

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Basically, I suck

Posted on October 25, 2023 by suziecreamcheese

I saw a Facebook recently that said, in brief, “yes, you suck, but you get up and try again tomorrow. And the more you try, the less you suck.”

I’m at the point of “i really suck.” Maverick and I have been in classes for months now. I’m not sure if he’s just tired of it, or if he’s not interested, or if I just really suck at training. Our most recent class is Tricks are for Dogs. We’ve managed to get the Novice Trick Dog title – this is an AKC title so it’s kind of a biggish deal. The next level is Intermediate. As the tricks for this level started being taught, he stopped working. They’re not difficult, mostly, but he won’t even try some of them.

I’ve made the classic training error of using too many treats, as well. Maverick has switched his focus from my face or hand to the treat pouch on my hip. He will do one thing and then head for the treat cabinet and refuse to do anything but sit in front of it.

I think we’re both frustrated. Me with him because I can’t get through to him. Him with me for the same reason.

So, because even though I suck, I get up and try again. I’m doing research into clicker training. Yesterday I ordered 3 books – because one is never enough – and I’m going to start reading one I already have, written by the “founder” I guess you’d call her, of clicker training for dogs – Karen Pryor.

I can’t take Maverick to class because I’m actually teaching a class during the same time period, but we can work at home and video the tricks. I learned this morning that we actually have 2 more weeks to practice, I had thought we needed this done by next Monday, so perhaps that will take some of the stress off both of us.

If we manage to earn the Intermediate title, I’ll be astonished. If not, well, I suck, and we get up and try again. And maybe eventually, I won’t suck so badly at training.

What’s super annoying? I can train other people’s dogs, just not my own!

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glimmers

Posted on September 17, 2023 by suziecreamcheese

One of my friends posted something on Facebook the other day about finding the “glimmers” in life, the litte moments that are special, that make you smile, that light up your day.

It made me think. There are so many little moments that we just smile, and then forget about. Life is full of sadness at times. I’ve lost so many people, some to death, some have followed different paths, some have turned their backs. And still, there are moments of joy, moments of happiness, moments of pure love in my life.

Today I ran errands with Maverick. We went to pay the property taxes (NOT a moment of joy, that one! Ouch!) Then we went to the beer store because one needs beer to navigate this crazy world. Our next stop was the little corner grocery store. It changed ownership a few years ago, and I was not happy. i don’t deal well with change. However, they’ve managed to retain the character of the place while making some necessary repairs and upgrades so I’ll still shop there. They also have the best cold cuts around. (The first time I told the Bear I got him cold cuts for lunch, he looked at me like I was speaking Mandarin. it’s “lunch meat” round here!)

The first time I got the above mentioned “cold cuts” at this store, I went to the deli counter, looked at the line, and asked where the number thingie was. I’m from NY, you take a damned number at the deli counter. The people in line looked confused. “We just take our turn” I was told. I was skeptical. I watched to see who came in after me, knowing that someone would push forwards. Well, When I found the Bear later, I was still in shock. “There are no numbers! No one jumped the line! Everyone was polite!” He couldn’t understand why I was so gobsmacked. I’d never seen such behavior!

This has not changed. People are still incredibly polite at that counter and that, in itself, is a moment of joy. People also tend to chat about their purchases. “You’re getting the farmer cheese? How IS that? I’ve never tried it!” Today the lady ahead of me was getting liverwurst. Liverwurst is not sliced, they cut a chunk. It’s nasty stuff, the last time I bought it was when Maverick had to take pills and even he wouldn’t eat it after a few times. However, I thought I’d get some and try to freeze little balls and take to traiing classes. So I said to the lady, “Is that liverwurst?” She said yes. I asked what she planned to do with it, because dog training is always on my mind and I love to talk about it. She said she was going to make liverwurst and onion sandwhiches, which are, in her words, truly disgusting but she really wanted one.

My sister Betty, who died 30 some years ago, LOVED liverwurst and onion sandwiches and would torment me with them. (THey really are disgusting) I smiled, memories washing over me, and told the lady, “Oh my gosh, you just made me remember my sister, and I’m going to smile all day! Thank you!” She lit up, and thanked me.

Glimmers. Look for them, they’re all around us.

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He knocked me down the first time we met

Posted on September 10, 2023 by suziecreamcheese

And I laughed and laughed.

He was a Yellow Lab, I met him when he was 8 months or so old, just been rescued by my BFF a few days earlier. I came into her house, all “OH MY GOD, PUPPY!” and got down on the floor. He came flying across the room and knocked me ass over tea kettle. I howled with laughter as he proceeded to lick my face, eat my hair and generally be a wild and crazy puppy.

He was a handful. She took him to training classes, more than one. She once took him to dog park, where he dragged her across the grass, through the mud and proceeded to get into a fight with another dog while she was holding the leash. (It ended without injury to anyone except her pride.) (That was his only trip to dog park) He never liked male dogs who hadn’t been neutered. Consequently, he and Maverick never got to be friends. We wanted to get them together often, hoping that by the time Maverick’s puppy pass expired, Zeke would have accepted him, but circumstances conspired to keep that from happening and neither of us was willing to take the chance later on.

He was the best of friends with Max. They shared peanut butter bones, toys, and adventures in the front yard. Zeke stole Max’s toys from the car and Max let him do it. He was the bestest of good boys – if he liked you. If he didn’t like you, get away and do it now. I guess he was a lot like me in that way.

Max went to the Bridge one terrible day. A month or so later, my dear friends gathered together and gave me several gifts, a picture, a set of wind chimes, a framed poem. I sobbed. The puppy – who was no longer a puppy, of course – who never tolerated hugs, came to me, sat in my lap and let me sob into his fur. My best friend took a picture – because she takes pictures of everything but also because this was something that had never before happened. Zeke would allow a brief, loose hug from some, but this was full out, clinging to him, bawling, while he calmly licked my tears away.

Years went by and Zeke slowed down. The terror that he could be was replaced by an old gentleman – who still had his moments – but who no longer chased our cars to the edge of the driveway (a game we all played with him) or went for long walks. HIs legs grew weak, and his mom did everything in her power to keep him strong and healthy.

But the day came, as it always does, way too soon. Zeke went to the Bridge one awful Tuesday a month ago. I believe Max was waiting for him, with a stuffed ball (the only toy he didn’t destroy was a stuffed ball I gave him last Christmas, which had another toy inside and he never pulled out) and a peanut butter bone.

Run free, my boys, run free. There will never be another like you, sweet Zekers.

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Cough, sneeze, blow your nose

Posted on September 8, 2023 by suziecreamcheese

The Bear has bronchitis. This is not news, he gets it twice a year. This time he listened to me and contacted the doctor immediately, so he had meds the next morning and is on his way back to as normal as he’ll ever be.

However.

Sharing is caring. Or so they say. I will be heading to CVS later to pick up MY meds. Love is grand, isn’t it?

In other news, Maverick is rocking the tricks from the first week of training class. We start that class on the 18th, but I audited with my friend so I have all the lessons and we’re “pretraining.” (The instructors are aware of this. Because of Maverick’s anxiety issues, I have chosen this class to help build his confidence and we’ve discussed that having him know the routine when he gets to the class will help with that) Last night, after the wicked storm passed and Toto had landed in Oz and the Wicked Witch had been pulled from beneath the house, we worked on “spin and twirl” with an added filip of a bow. Then we did some “paws up” on a box, but we really need a sturdier box for that. We did “get in the box and sit” – he does that one with quite the “let’s get this over with” attitude. And we worked on “stand” because that’s one cue he doesn’t really know.

All of this was done during commercials – one of my favorite movies was on AMC – True Lies with Jamie Lee Curtis and Arnold Schwarzenegger (however you spell that). I will never stop laughing at the gun rolling down the stairs or “You’re fired” or best of all, “THE BRIDGE IS OUT!” During this time, my BFF and I were texting each other the next best line. Yup, we’re that silly. (You should see it when Princess Bride is playing.)

I’m going to see the Barbie movie as soon as I stop feeling like I got hit by a truck. (Thanks, Bear) I wasn’t planning on this, but one of my friends saw it (I’m looking at you, Peachy) and another of our friends got a bit heated about how horrible it is, so I now feel that I need to make up my own mind about it. I frequently see people being accused of following the prevailing opinion about something – and I know I’m often guilty of that as well – so I’m making an effort to not do that so much. I was going today but, yeah, that truck knocked me out.

And in other news – I’ve been having some weird ass dreams lately and I think this house needs a major sweep with sage or something!

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When you play with the big dogs

Posted on August 26, 2023 by suziecreamcheese

This week has kicked my ass. Well, more accurately – Maverick has kicked my ass. We’ve been in training classes for months. The last one was called Improving Manners – neither of us has any so I thought it might help. It may have helped him, I still burp randomly in public but I see no reason to stop that, it keeps strangers away. The last class required us to do a modified rally course. (This means we walked from one cone to the next and did whatever the attached sign said) Maverick did much better than anyone expected, but when he was finished, he was entirely finished and hauled me back to our spot – I mean HAULED me. In the process, he pulled my body into a shape it wasn’t meant for. But we finished the course, and the class, and progress was made – small steps that might seem minor to some but with Maverick, I’ve learned to celebrate every small victory.

During the class we did before this one, I went to NY for 10 days. I didn’t want him to miss a week, so I asked my friends to take him. Seems this was a big mistake, he started to develop anxiety about being there and it got progressively worse over the next couple of weeks. Then we were off for a month, and when we started another class, he was unable to focus on anything except getting out of there. Thank goodness, we have a great instructor, who has worked with us for the past 7 weeks to help with him over this hump, and while we’re not there yet, we’ve come a long way from the dog who shook and whined the entire first class and did nothing but lick his paw. For us to be able to do the rally course, even though we wouldn’t get a medal for our performance by any standards, was a major win.

So now we have a month off again. We’re doing Tricks class next. I have all the materials and we’re working on everything before class starts. Our theory is that this will help him grow confidence, he’s going into class knowing how to do everything asked of him.

Meanwhile my body will heal, yet again. And at some point today, Maverick will choose to poop at home because not only is my body messed up, so is his car.

In other news, I’m fighting with a ball of yarn that I felt needed to be used and last night decided I had way too much yarn to spend any more time with this recalcitrant mess so it’s going in the “someday” basket and I believe I’ll start a c2c blanket from some of the baby yarn I discovered when I did a deep dive into the yarn closet

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It’s always a challenge

Posted on July 15, 2023 by suziecreamcheese

Get a dog, they said. It’ll be fun, they said.

I had a dog. He was 10 years old when he died, calm from the day he came home, pretty easy to train, a therapy dog by the time he was 3.

When he left us, I was devastated. So we quickly got a puppy. Maverick is the exact opposite of Max. In every way I can think of, they are opposites. Max was quite content to be off by himself, Maverick wants constant attention. Max was calm, quiet. Maverick is a ball of energy. Max loved his food – Maverick eats when he has time, because there are way too many more important things to do.

And the training. I could hold a piece of food in front of Max and he would do whatever it took to get that in his mouth. Maverick will consider if it’s actually worth it and most of the time, the answer is no.

I’ve been told that I should write a training book for real people with dogs like Maverick – comparing what the trainers tell you with what will really happen. “If your dog won’t eat, pick up his food after 15 minutes and put it back down 1/2 hour later. Eventually he’ll eat.” Maverick says, ‘Meh, fuck it, wasn’t hungry anyway.”

I think he’s part Honey Badger because he seriously does not give a fuck. (Sorry, Mother, I know you hated that word, but it’s the only thing that works here.)

We started a class this week. Maverick’s current obsession is licking his front paws. Nothing will distract him from this once he gets started. I’m not sure what’s causing it, if it’s anxiety or something else – It’s not allergies, he’s been checked 7 ways from Sunday and yes, he has skin allergies and he’s on medication for them, and the paws are not sore, red, rash,nothing. It’s a sort of self soothing habit that drives me completely and totally insane.

He Will Not Stop

So we went to class. The last class we did, we thought it was good to pick him up from daycare and go directly to the class. It turned out that wasn’t the best plan. So I picked him up at 5, brought him home, fed him half his normal supper – hallelujah, he ate! – and then we went to class at 7:30. He started the paw licking as soon as we got there. And didn’t stop the entire time. It was, to be blunt, fucking frustrating.

So. Again, we re-evalute. Back to square one – that seems to be our home, although sometimes we pass it on the way to negative square 10. Today we did a very short walk because it’s hotter than Satan’s balls out there, then we did puzzles. We worked those for about 10 minutes and then did a round of training exercises. And now he’s crashed out tired by the front door. This may work for a few days or a few weeks or maybe just a few minutes.

If not, I’m seriously considering an exorcism. Anyone know where I can get Holy water?

Posted in dogs, Maverick, training | Tagged , | 18 Comments