Grumpy and mean

Posted on August 15, 2025 by suziecreamcheese

well, not really mean

but definitely grumpy


My hip has been giving me grief for a couple of months. My spine doctor insists that’s the cause, that my L4 and L5 vertabrae or whatever they are are pressing on my nerves. They’re definitely standing on my nerves! It feels like someone is pushing a nail into my hip at times, and another one into the small of my back She has been singularly unhelpful about resolving this and I refuse to accept that nothing can be done except further steroid injections. The last ones were what started this whole mess.** I asked my family doctor to refer me to a different spine doctor, I got a call a week later, saw the new doctor this week and she thinks it’s actually my hips, that my spine is not as bad as I was told. We’ve scheduled a new MRI, she’s looking at the hip x-rays that were done and I have an appointment with pain management next week, so I’m hoping that something can be done. I wasn’t built for this – chronic pain is exhausting.

I bought a TENS machine. It works quite well but doesn’t address the underlying issue. I’m grateful for the amount of relief it gives, even if it doesn’t last. Of course, it might last longer if a certain dog didn’t think that pushing on me was a great idea. I don’t mean leaning, I mean PUSHING. He literally shoves me around. Even when I’m sitting down. I love him. I really do. I have no idea how to stop this behavior – nothing has worked for 7 years.

I just finished reading Mao’s America by Xi Van Fleet. This lady lived through the Cultural Revolution in China, what she has to say about events before the last election is terrifying. GIve it a read, it’s well worth it. I’m now half way (or more) through The Great Gatsby. It’s been eons since I read it, so it’s like a whole new book! I remember bits and pieces but that’s about it – and it may well have been required reading – my first degree is in English Lit – so I probably was drunk as a skunk tipsy when I read it. (Ask me sometime about reading Moby Dick in 2 nights) (AKA, Moby Douche) I’m not sure what’s next, I bought a few books by authors I’ve never heard of onlybecause they were being canceled for liking Harry Potter. If you’re not aware, J.K.Rowling is a very vocal supporter of women’s rights and speaks out about men who claim to be women invading women’s spaces. When a woman who has just been raped is denied the right to ask for a female doctor – and not a man wearing a dress and a wig – well, that’s just wrong. We’ve fought too hard for too long for women to give in to this mess.

And on top of the hip issue, I have a rash that won’t go away. I’m just going to good old Gold Bond Powder next.

At any rate, all this bs is making me crabby.

** this is my opinion, no one will substantiate it – of course

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Many things or just a few

Posted on August 4, 2025 by suziecreamcheese

*please excuse any typos, I’ve managed to grow my nails long for the first time in years and i’d forgotten how difficult it makes it to type. (It’s worth it)

So Maverick got over his hot spot finally. The Bear has recovered from his surgery and has been puttering about the house while waiting for the next one -he has a leaky valve that will be repaired in a few months, after the first procedure is totally healed. I’m puttering about doing my usual stuff and grumbling about it at every opportunity.

I developed a lovely rash while I was on vacation, finally went to the doctor and got some cream for it. Dear Lord, when they prescribe these creams do they not look at the patient? I am not a little woman, that tube is not gonna last for long! It is helping but I’m still itching and it’s in a place that people look at you funny if you scratch in public. Geesh. Speaking of, at the last board meeting the gentleman in front of me gave me quite the view of his butt crack. Guys, pull up your damned pants!

My reading has slowed down a bit. I just finished Shatter Me, quite a nice young adult novel which is not my norm but one tries to diversify! I also purchased two books by an author named Jennifer Carr, I never heard of her till I read a random post on Threads about how she was put on a “do not read” list because she said that one should be allowed to attend some convention even if a “problematic” author was going to be there. And then last night I ran across another author suffering the same fate because she dared to enjoy Harry Potter. (I’m about to reread those books because the stuff people are saying is stuff I just don’t remember) (For those who don’t know, this is because J.K. Rowling dared to say that a guy wearing a dress is still a guy)

Yesterday was our ladies afternoon of crafting and snacks. Only two of the four could make it but it was still fun, sometimes it’s nice to just have a couple of us together, we get a bit closer to each other that way, I think. We had cheese and cracker – Club brand has a sweet Hawaiian cracker that’s really quite tasty1 And chips and mini cream puffs and mozarella sticks, laughs and good conversation.

Today was BJ’s – as I was putting stuff in the trunk (and by the way, I bought another book. Apparently I’m incorrigible) (But at least it wasn’t yarn!) I thought, “what is hitting me?” Oh, duh, those are called raindrops. Unexpected deluge. Good times. This was after the deluge we had a couple of weeks ago, during which I got stranded at my neighbor’s house. My driveway goes down one hill, up another and in the valley is a creek. The creek overflowed and the driveway was under a good bit of water. I would have chanced it but the Bear told me to go to J’s, so I spent an hour chatting with her.

Last week she asked me to take her to a doctor appointment, and that turned into a lunch date, which became an entire afternoon out. She’s 90 years old. If she wants to go to lunch, we’re going to lunch. So we went to the Gettysburger Company, which is – duh – in Gettysburg. If you live anywhere near there, GO! They have amazing burgers. We were totally stuffed, laughed, talked, played with the baby at the next table – there is something magical about watching a 90 year old and a 7 month old interact.

Since then, my hips have been increasingly difficult. Chronic pain is something no one but those of us who endure it really understands. My pain level on a good day is a 3 or 4. Doesn’t sound that bad, right? It’s not the pain level, really, it’s that it doesn’t stop. Those rare pain free moments can make me cry with relief. So I put out a message to my family doctor and he sent a referral to a different specialist than the one I’ve been seeing, I love her but I didn’t feel like she heard me the last two times I saw her. So it’s time to get a new set of eyes on this spine of mine.

In other news, apparently good genes are racist. Dear Jebus!

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I love this dog

Posted on July 3, 2025 by suziecreamcheese

even though today, he went to the vet for his rabies shot, and since he had a sort of scratch on the side of his face, I asked Dr. Dave to check it.

Before that – we had a battle in the waiting room, he refuses to settle I know he’s stressed. So am I, Dude. Why am I stressed? Because doing physical battle with a 76 lb dog is a guarantee that I’m gonna lose. But I can’t let him run out the door, now can I?

Then we got called into the exam room. Another battle begins. No you can’t jump up on the bench, because I don’t need you to fall off, thanks.

The vet tech came in and tried to take blood. Nope, not happening. Two vet techs, plus me managed it.

And then Dr. Dave arrived. He pronounced the scratch a hot spot, and the real battle began. Took three of us, and Dr. Dave is a big man, to keep Maverick on the table.

All told the damage is thus: He slammed my elbow into the door, my hip into the exam table, my back is already shot and my right shoulder, which is normally good, got wrenched.

We had to go wait again to pay the bill. Normally I would put him in the car for this part, but the car has no A/C so we sat on a bench. Apparently I looked frazzled, a few people asked if I was okay. Yeah, I’m great, just in pain and frustrated as all hell, but otherwise, great!

I had told the daycare owner that I would bring him back for the afternoon and she said that was fine. While waiting to check out, she called. Oh, she misunderstood, I can bring him back tomorrow but not today.

Thanks.

I’ll be on the sofa if anyone needs me.

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The tunnel

Posted on June 29, 2025 by suziecreamcheese

Or as Max used to say, the “tunneral.”

Today was the end of catching up from sleeping all day on Friday. It was also the day Maverick decided to wake me up at 8 am. (Not impressed, Little One, not impressed) He was a bit of a twit till after we went for a ride and he managed to take a poop in the front yard. (I can no longer walk him and he hates to poop at home, much preferring the park, so we have an ongoing argument about this issue.) (He has managed to go all weekend, not pooping till he gets to daycare)

After we got home, I headed up to water the plants, changed the sheets, put the laundry away, clean two bathrooms and do my exercises for my back – he helped by climbing on the bed, laying on me, and when I told him I needed to roll over, he promptly showed me how to do that by rolling on top of me. (Yes, I laughed) Then I did about 5000 other things and ended up with finishing up grades. By this point he was totally disgusted with the lack of attention

I went to the family room to get something, Bear had oldies playing on the radio, and I started singing to Maverick. (Bear runs when I sing) And then I spotted the tunnel I got for Maverick a long time ago. I pulled that baby out, and we had a rousing 15 minutes of him running through it from both directions while I tossed treats and laughed.

And now he’s tired, and happy, and my grading is done. I think I might get to sew tonight!

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Should we be annoyed or just laugh?

Posted on June 28, 2025 by suziecreamcheese

I’m on social media way too much and lately I’ve been seeing a lot of posts about “we’re GenX, we were the first ones to do……………” and it cracks me up, but also annoys me a touch.

Darlins, you may have been the LAST to be gone all day without your parents knowing where you were, but you sure as hell weren’t the first. You might have been the last of the latch-key kids, although you weren’t the first of those either, there were a few in my class who had moms who worked. Also, the Boomers did not get together and hatch a plan to make the lives of all those who follow totally miserable. Had there been such a meeting, I would have brought cake.

The campaign for school board is progressing. Yesterday we worked on my website, and holy crap is that fun. The next job is figuring out how to hook up a domain thingie whatever that is to the website. We have a lovely young man who’s helping, thank goodness! When the website is ready, I will share the address. Also, next, is buying business cards to hand out. None of this was part of what I planned when I chose to run, but it’s become necessary, and I’m so grateful for my politically savvy friend! He’s having a wonderful time teasing me about winning the primary as a Democrat, by the way!

The weather has been summer weather. In other words, it’s hot. Well, duh, it’s June, and therefore it’s hot. Yes, it’s humid. Also Summer. It’s infinitely better than shoveling snow. Also, people are bitching.

I made a political comment on Threads the other day – there was yet another “how can we end this nightmare????????????” post because, you know, we’ve lost all our rights and we’re all gonna die because Trump cursed. (I don’t agree with dropping f bombs in public but I get why he did it, we all have a point where we just say fuck this shit) I was called everything but a white woman. Or is that “whyte?” Or “White?” It’s all too silly, really.

I’ve been having some relatively pain free days lately – relatively, because what I consider “pain free” would probably have a normal person curled up in a ball crying. Today my body decided that I was that normal person. I got about 4 hours of sleep before it was time to get up and take Maverick to daycare. That takes about 15 minutes, I hit the sofa when I got home and slept till about 10, went back to bed and got up at 5. Yes, 5 pm. Chronic pain is way more exhausting than people reaiize. I’m not angling for sympathy here – just stating facts. I told my pt that I had a low pain threshold and she laughed and told me that I was just so accustomed to being in pain that I didn’t notice it most of the time.

So, after some food and the application of heat, I’m functional. I’m also ready to go back to bed.

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Decisions, decisions

Posted on June 13, 2025 by suziecreamcheese

My dearest friend here in NY, who I’ve known for practically forever, delights in buying fabric for me. He delivered today. Three tote bags full of fat quarters and one yard pieces – most of those are Christmas and Halloween fabrics. I actually brought my little cutting mat and rotary cutter with me because I knew he’d bring me fabric. And yes, I’m that much of a fanatic that I brought my little sewing machine that I bought at Aldi for $25 several years ago.

I’ve been perusing quilt block patterns since he left this evening. I’m thinking I’d really like to do a log cabing, a scrappy kind that doesn’t have to have the blocks all be the same. And here’s the dilemma – the fabric needs pressed. There’s an iron and ironing board in my motel room. i can’t move that bloody ironing board, so shall I put down a towel and use the desk? Or am I taking a chance on setting off the smoke alarm and getting tossed out? What to do?

I’m not that brave. I guess I’ll just choose fabrics and patterns and press when I get home!

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One more time

Posted on June 12, 2025 by suziecreamcheese

I’m in NY on my annual trip. It was a crazy month till now, a lot of stuff going on at home and I didn’t know for certain I was coming till about two days before. I packed enough clothes for 2 weeks because I pretty much threw stuff in the suitcase on Thursday. (I counted 13 pairs of leggings when I went through my stuff the other night – I’m only here for 6 days, plus one travel day)

.So far I’ve seen two nephews, one niece, visited the cemeteries to see my parents and another cemetery to visit my sister. I didn’t go to that cemetery in October, it was cold and raw and I’d had all the emotion I could handle that day. Today I made myself go. It’s much harder to be here than at home, because here she’s supposed to be and home she isn’t Her daugher gave me a ring she always wore, it fits on my index finger and I will wear it daily.

I’ve slept and read and done some work on the school board campaign, and it’s been okay. I’d rather be home, but it’s good to be away too. Today is lunch with the friend who buys me fabric, then we’ll chat away the afternoon. This evening I have to teach, but it’s a class where everyone works together on homework and I just monitor, so I will probably be playiing with fabric grading their homework and studying during that time.

Tomorrow is a visit with my oldest cousin, then hopefully dinner with my favprite great nephew, Saturday is time with another old friend and one last visit to my other favorite nephew (there are three, the terrible trio own my heart totally and completely) – who has a terrible habit of giving me a list of books that I HAVE to read! – and home on Sunday. I dread the drive, it’s just long and boring and I wish I could just step into a portal and be there. But alas, I cannot. I’ll be home by 4 (hopefully earlier) and asleep on the sofa, head on Bear’s shoulder, within an hour. And then it’s back to reality!

Monday morning I have to take my neighbor to her physical therapy evaluation, and I think I can convince her to go to lunch after that. And it will be good to be home

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what would life be like without drama?

Posted on June 6, 2025 by suziecreamcheese

I really don’t like drama – probably because most of my family thrives on it and I’ve really seen more than I want.

My life has been quite the roller coaster this past month. We had the primary on May 20th. PA does this cross filing thing so you can be on both the Republican and Democrat ballots. Everyone who knows me knows I’m a die hard Republican- so I won on the Democrat side. Good Lord, shoot me now.

The reason for this was – you guessed it – drama. Oh well. We have till November to get our message across to those who don’t vote in primaries.

In other news, but related, Bear decided to retire from his job at the school – because of, yup, you guessed it – drama. It was definitely related to me speaking out, but we have no proof, only a gut feeling.

And he had the Watchman procedure scheduled. that happened yesterday, he spent the night in the hospital, home today, all went well. The only drama there – did you really think there wasn’t any? – was the date of his retirement and would his insurance still be in effect. (It is).

Maverick had surgery two weeks ago. He had something on his gum called an epilus. Drama? Only in the waiting for the biopsy- it was benign, thank God.

Meanwhile, Maverick has decided that the only possible means of entertainment is to lick his paw, relentlessly, unceasingly, till most of the fur is gone and I’m about to tear my ears off so I don’t have to hear the lap lap lap any more.

I’m heading for NY in 2 days. Thst might be fun but I’m visiting family- and they LOVE drama!

I’m grateful for adult beverages these days

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Election confusion and Maverick

Posted on May 21, 2025 by suziecreamcheese

One thing has little to do with the other but they were a day apart so………

PA allows people to “cross file” which means that you file paperwork to run as both Republican and Democrat and are thus on the ballot for both for the primary. I am totally confused as to why this is a good thing. The results came in last night – 3 out of the 4 of us are registered Republicans, yet we won the Democrat primary and I’m clueless about the Republican.

There was a vote a few months ago in my little town about allowing boys in the girls’ locker rooms and about the use of pronouns by kids. The policies addressing these issues were written not by our solicitor but by an independent law firm that is so far right, it’s nearly left. They were both badly written, left too much up to interpretation and too many shades of gray. They were discussed at length for months, it seemed.

It was obvious to anyone watching that 7 out of 9 board members planned to vote for the policies the way they were written. It was a done deal, so move on – wait till you can actually do somehting about it to talk about it. But a few people couldn’t do that, and the night before the vote, they published a post on Facebook that made it look like these policies were going to allow for body searches before a kid could go pee. I demanded that the post be removed – it wasn’t and still hasn’t been. And, of course, it caused an uproar.

So the two who voted agains the policy were held up to public ridicule, even though they explained their reasoning, more than once. Immediately, two write in candidates came forward. They were vehemently opposed to the idea that anyone had voted against these policies and refused to listen to any reasons for why this had been done.

At no time did the two no votes express approval for boys in the girls’ rooms, but that didn’t matter.

I said from the beginning that this was going to be trouble. They’ve been banging this drum for the past couple of months and the people who are running our campaign have done little to counteract it. I finally threw a tantrum and insisted that we put out a statement, and that was done, but it was too little, too late. One of the guys also read a statement at the board meeting but again, no one is listening.

The icing on the cake here is that our local county GOP, without meeting with the four of us, chose to endorse the write ins. The two have never attended meetings, by the way. I called a member of the GOP committee, got no answer. I saw her yesterday and confronted her. She claimed not to have my phone number – ummm, caller ID anyone? At any rate, her sole reason for the endorsement was those policies.

So now we’re looking at who knows what? It’s a cluster fucking shit show!


Maverick

I dropped him off at 7:30 this morning, came home and went back to bed. Dr Dave called at about 11, sent pictures – ewww – and said the lump almost peeled off. He’s sending it for biopsy just to be sure, but he doesn’t seem concerned about any issues. Maverick is now home, sleeping beside me as I type this. I expect he’ll be out of it for the rest of the night, he’s kind of drunk. 🙂 And I can relax with my baby home safe.

He’s home tomorrow and then back to daycare on Friday. He has antibiotics and pain meds, that will be fun. He always gets the diarrhea with antibiotics, and he won’t eat pumpkin or yogurt, so I have anti-diarrhea pills that he’ll get too. And only soft food for a few days so he’ll have some scrambled eggs with his supper, if he feels like eating. He’ll let me know.

He drives me crazy and I love him beyond all reason.

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abundance

Posted on May 20, 2025 by suziecreamcheese

JoAnn Fabrics is nearly completely dead. (That’s a kind of backwards Princess Bride reference, by the way. “He’s only mostly dead!” ) One of my dear friends shopped yesterday and messaged me about some quilt batting that was marked down from $60 to $11. I told her no, I don’t need any more batting. She bought it anyway. So now I’ll add another batting to the 6 I have in the closet.

She spent 1/2 hour this morning trying to convince me that I need to get to the store before it closes, the end of this week. I gave up talking to her after about 10 minutes. She’s been sewing for about 5 years – she got started during Covid, making those utterly useless masks. (Disclaimer, I made them too and then I made more for people who wanted them because who am I to tell them they were idiots?) (I’m a bit judgy today, by the way)

I finally told her, “look, I’m about 40 years ahead in this game, I don’t need to get more, I need to use what I have.” I told her I have no room for more yarn, more fabric, I need to use up what I have stashed in so many places that I’ve forgotten some of them! She insisted I could find more space. She’s right, I probably could. But I’m not going to – I have boxes of fabric, two dressers and two closets full of yarn, and I won’t live long enough to use it all if I live to 150 and never buy another thing. I don’t need more sewing or knitting tools, I have all I can ever need – and some I’m not sure how to use!

The point of this is not to brag about my stash, impressive as it might be. The point is that in 1/2 hour, I could not convince this person that no, I do not need more stuff. I frequently see posts about how you should downsize because you don’t want your grandchildren to have to deal with all your stuff when you die, and they invariably piss me off. I don’t have grandchildren, for one thing. I like my stuff, for another. And finally, I’ll be dead, I won’t care. In the meantime, I’m going to live with my stuff because it makes me happy and pffffffffffttttttttttttt to anyone who doesn’ t like it.

So it’s not that I’m against acquiring stuff. I’m against being told, when I’ve clearly said no, that I do indeed need more stuff. Why is there such a push in our society to have more and more and more of stuff we’ll never use and don’t need? I’m as guilty as anyone – I just bought two books that I’ll probably read in a few years – but I guess i’m finally recognizing that I like to buy before I think. Are we so competitive that we need to have the most of everything? Are we so insecure that we need to surround ourselves with more and more stuff? I don’t know the answer but I do know that I’m in the process of using up fabric and yarn, and not buying more unless it’s a really really good deal – and then I’ll find a place for it!

But it will be my decision, not because someone talked me into it.

On a side note, today is the primary. Fingers crossed

Also, Maverick is having an epilus removed tomorrow. I know it’s minor surgery but he’s my baby. I am just a wee tad stressed! Prayers are appreciated

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