Cream filled chocolates

Posted on December 28, 2024 by suziecreamcheese

as requested, the recipe:

ingredients:

2 1/2 lbs of confectionery sugar

1 lb of butter

1 can sweetened condensed milk

5-6 tbs of vanilla – I used 4 and it’s quite sweet enough, so taste it before you add more

Directions:

  1. mix in a large bowl with your hands _ yes, with your hands, there’s no other way to get it all together!
  2. divide into bowls to flavor – to taste (use an extract or something thick) 3
  3. freeze to harden
  4. remover from freezer and shape into 1/2 inch balls – refreeze (Mother always put a toothpick in each one because she dipped them with that. I use a dipping spoon so I don’t use a toothpick)
  5. coating – now, I use the candy melts because I’m lazy, and also because you can’ vary the colors and flavors. Mother is probably still annoyed about that. Her recipe follows for coating: 1 large package of chocolate chips
    • 1 small package of butterscotch chips
    • 1/2 block of wax (yes, wax)
    • melt the wax in a double boiler, then add the chips
  6. dip the frozen balls (oh, the perv alert there!) into the mixture and place on waxed paper. Cool in the fridge, remove the toothpicks and fill in the holes they left. (If you use the dipping spoon, you don’t get holes. So there, Mother!)

And that’s it. They’re a bit of work, but they’re so good! So rich, and so delicious!

It’s fun to experiment with flavors and coatings, so let me know what you make!

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The time has come, the walrus said

Posted on December 25, 2024 by suziecreamcheese

To talk of many things

Of shoes and ships and sealing wax

and cabbages and kings

I used to know that whole poem and The Raven – which I would happily recite whenever the mood struck. My brain is now too full of other stuff, or someone hit the delete button by accident. (That happens quite often, by the way)

So it’s Christmas and we have much to discuss. I’m taking a break from candy making. My mom made cream filled chocolates every year***, started with a bunch of flavors and eventually only made maple creams because those were the favorites. When I moved to PA, I volunteered to make them but in one of those ‘”This is how it’s done and I can’t change” moments, I only suggested maple and no one here likes it. Duh, you can use other flavorings! (Sometimes I get stuck, too!) Three years ago I decided to make them and got a little crazy with flavors, but my friends truly loved all of them. So last year I made them again and this year – well, I really like experimenting, so we have peppermint with dark mint coating, peppermints with white mint coating, raspberry with dark chocolate coating, coconut, rum and maple with milk chocolate and cherry with pink vanilla flavored coating. The cherries are currently in the freezer, and will be dipped later.

***recipe will be shared if anyone wants it

During this process, Bear discovered that we’ve owned a double boiler thingie for like 3 years

I swear sometimes he never opens a cabinet. (And when he does, he doesn’t close it! Men!)

In other news, Maverick had to visit Dr. Dave – our vet. Maverick decided it would be fun to scratch his butt on the carpet, thus giving himself a rug burn on his ass. That rug burn has turned into a lovely hot spot. Part of the cure is to shave the affected area – so he’s got a bare ass look going on and he’s not impressed. It’s also sore and I feel bad for him but I can’t help thinking, “dude, you did this to yourself!” (My mom had no patience with injuries. She would say, “do you want sympathy? Look it up in the dictionary, it’s between shit and syphillis”) (I had no idea what syphillis was, but I knew it was after “sympathy” in the dictionary!)
At any rate, he’s always a bundle of energy and this has turned him frantic. Yes, we’ve resorted to calming meds. They’re sort of working. So is brandy. For me, not him. I’m not that crazy! (Although it has crossed my mind) Today I will be making a neck pillow in the vain attempt to keep him from biting his butt. Because I’m quite tired of yelling “LEAVE IT!” so loud the neighbors can hear.

Bear is off for the next two weeks. Pray for me. Seriously, when he’s home, I tend to snack less so it will be good for my diet. Also, I have a honey do list that I haven’t mentioned. Don’t tell him.

My family is 350 miles away. Bear’s family situation is complicated. It’s me, Bear and Maverick of the Bare Butt today. Christmas has always been my favorite holiday. I feel like most of what I love about it has been taken away. So I’m choosing to focus on the blessings in my life, and on the meaning of today. Last night I watched a live stream of a local church service where my BFF played the organ, and a girl who was a member there since she was a child sang “Mary Did You Know?” and brought tears to my eyes. She has an amazing voice and I expect to see her on Broadway someday.

Merry Christmas, everyone. Hope your day is filled with joy and no “Leave it!”

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I miss her

Posted on December 4, 2024 by suziecreamcheese
My sister and I

I’m 4 years old in this picture. My sister is 15. One of my friends edited it for me, and without realizing it, added angel wings.

I want to write that little girl, that 4 year old, a letter. I want to tell her to cling even tighter to her big sister because the day will come when she can’t. But she’s 4, she’d have no idea why someone would tell her that the person who was there every minute of her life, who took her everywhere and bought her her first Barbie and taught her that Elvis was great and James Dean was cool, and that love lasts forever, even if you get married and move away and have kids and they seem to come first – they don’t, it’s always you and her – that someday that person would be gone.

She left on October 17th. I called her nearly every Thursday – and I didn’t realize that I stored up bits of gossip and general information all week to tell her during those calls. In her last few years, she rarely got out, she had limited mobility and a great lack of patience 🙂 So I asked her about the family history – and I’m realizing now I didn’t ask enough questions because, dammit, Nancy would always be there to answer any questions I had. Oh, and to tell me the juicy parts of stories that were kept secret from a 4 year old!

I know she’s still with me. I hear her voice and hear her telling me to knock it off, get on with it, she’ll see me again. I know that in my head, but my heart is saying something different.

She loved Christmas. I was going to cancel Christmas this year because my heart is just so broken. And then I realized that that was no way to honor her memory. Or my mom’s, who also loved Christmas. So in spite of family drama on the other side of the road, and my broken heart, my house is going to be decorated within an inch of its life. The tree – artificial because we’re not rich enough to pay $100 for a tree we’ll throw out in a few weeks – will come up from the basement this weekend. The Hallmark animated figures will come out and find places. The garland will drape around the bannisters. And the chocolate creams will be made and eaten, along with a pumpkin roll and cookies.

And I’ll cry, but I’ll laugh and tell stories to Maverick about when I was that four year old whose big sister gave her anything she wanted. Bear will laugh at us and we’ll play Elvis’ Christmas album because Nancy loved Elvis.

And it will be okay. Little four year old Susan? It will be okay. But I really wish I could hug my sister one more time.

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Can they hear us now?

Posted on November 15, 2024 by suziecreamcheese

It’s been an interesting couple of weeks, hasn’t it? I tried to stay up on Tuesday night – election night – to get the final results, but my eyes refused to co-operate. About 1/2 hour after I went to bed, the Bear came up, said “are you awake?” I was, sort of. He said, “If nothing drastic happens, I think he’s gonna win it.” Well. I was fully awake then! Are. You. Kidding. ME???

I live in PA, we expect drastic shit to happen overnight when it’s an election. (Not just recent elections, we’re known for shady shit. Not proud of it, just tellin the truth) So it was with a bit of trepidation that I checked the news the next morning.

Again. Are You Kidding MEEE?????

I have a lot of liberal friends. We talk, and we agree to disagree on a lot of points. I’ve tried to tell them that identity politics were going to bite them in the ass one day. I tried to tell them that insisting on using certain words was going to bite them in the ass. (No Latino person I know wanted to be called by “Latinx” for example) I tried to tell them that pushing gender issues on small children was going to bite them in the ass.

They didn’t listen.

I wonder if they can hear me now?

Did no one realize that running on basically one issue – abortion – would alienate a huge section of the population? Did they not realize that calling people garbage would alienate them? Did they not realize that telling a traditionally “big car” population that nope, you’re gonna give up your truck for an EV whether you like it or not, was going to alienate them?

Sadly, it doesn’t seem like they learned anything. I’m on a lot of social media sites, and the general consensus among the Democrats is that America is racist and would never vote for a woman, especially not a black woman. It couldn’t possibly be that we could see that she was half drunk most of the time, that she wasn’t qualified, that she wasn’t chosen by the people but by a few in power when the Resident obviously (well, it was obvious for a long time) couldn’t continue.

I’m worried about this country, I’m worried about women who think that shaving their heads and swearing off sex for four years is an appropriate reaction to election results they don’t like. I’m worried that grown adults needed coloring pages and simple crafts to help them deal with the disappointment. (I didn’t get crafts when Biden won, dammit!) And I’m worried about people who returned butter to a store because it contained milk.

Yup. We’re doomed.

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Don’t drive on Tuesday

Posted on November 3, 2024 by suziecreamcheese

I went to NY on Saturday and made the trip in 6 hours. With pee breaks!

I have to digress to tell this story. I stopped at a rest area, was doing my business when I heard someone enter the bathroom. A loud, thank goodness female, voice booms out “Do you have any car snacks you want to trade? I’m bored with what we have!” Well, I wanted to be polite so I yelled back, “I’m almost out but I’ll share what i have!” I came out of the stall to face a woman who looked like she was totally astonished. I said, “I have some cheese sticks and that’s about all but I’ll share!” She said, very sternly, “I thought my children were in here!” I paused, then said, “So does this mean you DON’T want to share snacks?” She glared. Okay then. I was stuck with my cheese sticks and too bad for her!

Back to the point. I listened to a book I picked up for $1 at the library used book sale – 10 CD’s for $1, I figured I couldn’t go wrong! It’s called The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks – highly recommend, it was very interesting and kept me awake and not crying all the way there. And all the way back.

All the way back, there was more need for a distraction. There was little crying, and a great deal of cursing. I didn’t think about road construction and leaf peepers and commuters when I planned this trip. I didn’t think about anything, really, except that i had to be there. I hit the first delay around Walden. This was not unexpected, it’s close enough to NYC and it was early enough in the morning that commuter traffic mixed with some construction made for annoying delays. Average speed of 25 mph when we’d been going 70 (hush) wasn’t fun.

Then it was fine till Scranton. Lanes closed. People, lanes closed ahead means “get the fuck over NOW!” As always, people waited till the last minute and then tried to bully in – not havin that shit here, I don’t care how big you are. I did almost get run over by an 18 wheeler but I called him a few names. (See previous comment about swearing)

So I got through that and thought it would be good for awhile. No. Hazelton. Yes, just about 35 miles from Scranton, again with the lane closures. As one of my former students would say, “fuck me sideways.” This one was worse than Scranton. I had packed my cooler that morning with my sandwiches (in a plastic container thingie from the grocery, they sell two for like $4) at the bottom – not awake, don’t judge – sodas on top and snacks on top of that. (Still cheese sticks and Hershey bars and some chips) During the Hazelton mess, I picked up the cooler from the floor of the front seat, opened it, unpacked it to get to my sandwhich, repacked it, and proceeded to eat my lunch. All without the car moving more than a few feet.

And then we got to Harrisburg. Harrisburg is always a cluster. The good thing is that the route numbers are actually painted on the highway. The bad thing is that you really need to know which lane you need to be in because few will let you over. And at this point, my GPS decided it would be far better to put me in the Susquehanna than put me in the correct lane. Big trucks make it impossible to see too far ahead. However, there was little problem with that part, I’ve driven this enough times to know where to get over to the left and where to stay to the right. However, all the freakin way from Harrisburg till I got off 83, it was traffic and one lane and barely moving.

It took me 6 hours to go up. It took me 7.5 to get home.

Don’t drive on a Tuesday.

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Well, I’m in trouble

Posted on November 2, 2024 by suziecreamcheese

Not really, just did some shit posting on Threads and stirred up a storm.

Can we dispell the myth of “rescue dogs are all perfect?” Yesterday, while walking at the park – I carry treats in my pocket and wear a hat that says “Can I Pet Your Dog?” so it takes me a lot longer than it should to go 2.5 miles but what the heck – my hat almost blew off. As I was grabbing it, a man and woman were coming towards me with two little dogs on flexi-leads.

Red flag #1 – Flexi-leads. Y’all know how I feel about those things

One dog startled and I said, “did it scare you when I grabbed my hat?” and stopped. I don’t approach dogs at the park, I let them come to me. I ask the owner if the dog can have a treat because I carry beef liver cubes and there’s one dog who’s allergic to beef and a few who just aren’t allowed and I can never remember who’s who so I ask

So I said, “will they take a treat?” The woman said, “one is okay, the other one nips.” I said, ‘Thanks for warning me” and stopped reaching for the treats. She then said, in that voice that no one uses for anything else, “He’s a rescue.”

Red flag #2 – “he’s a rescue”

Now, I have no issue with rescuing dogs, I think it’s a wonderful thing for people who have a clue. I have an issue with people who don’t train their dogs and who think that this dog is going to be forever grateful and an absolute perfection because they deigned to offer it a home.

I said, “oh, how long have you had him?” (Note to self, stop talking after hearing red flag #2) “Oh, we’ve had him for 2 years.” (Note to self – shut up) I said, “don’t fall into the rescue excuse*, work with a trainer on that problem.”

“We don’t know what happened to him before we got him!” (Susan, shut the fuck up!) I said,”well, you really shouldn’t use that as an excuse, you need to get some training.”
Woman told me to have a nice day and walked away. In a huff.

Okay, I should have shut up. But I’m tired of it. I’m tired of the condescending, self righteous, virtue signalling of 99% of people who go to the freakin pound and pay money for a dog and think they’re somehow better than anyone who goes to a breeder and pays money for a dog.

One of my friends rescued a dog, who was vetted by a supposedly reputable rescue. It put her daughter in the ER with a bite to the face that narrowly missed her eye. Thank God, the child is extremely resilient and has suffered no lasting side effects – she still loves dogs. So no, that dog you get from the rescue is no more perfect than the child of Satan who is currently driving me nuts. (Weekends suck, by the way) (Those are Maverick’s words)

So I made a post on Threads, sort of venting about the attitude that people have about rescues. Note, my best friend rescued a Yellow Lab, he was hell on wheels for the first two years and I can’t remember how many classes they took, but I remember we all worked really hard with him and he turned out to be a great dog. It’s not the dog’s fault! But………….if you think you’re getting an angel, think again – you might, you might not. And if you have no dog sense, well, you might just be sending that furry friend right back to where you got him.

Anyway, apparently I’m a horrible person because I don’t realize that trauma can take more than 2 years, that people tell me they’ve rescued for various reasons – none of which make sense to me, I don’t immediately tell people where I got Maverick so I’m not sure why they immediately have to tell me where they got their dog. I’m reading, commenting and laughing.

Sometimes you just gotta shit post.

*the “rescue excuse” allows your dog to do pretty much anything because “he’s a rescue!”

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Update

Posted on October 28, 2024 by suziecreamcheese

Everyone behaved.
Phew!

I had a moment when we got there, pictures that weren’t expected hit me hard, But I pulled it together. The sister who doesn’t speak to me was there, left immediately – but that’s on her, I didn’t even say hello to her, so if she wanted to run from me, that’s not my problem.

My great nephew, who is studying to be a doctor, was there with his mom (he’s the grandson of M, who doesn’t speak to me) I adore that boy. I guess he’s a man now, but he’ll always be the little boy who shared a rootberry snowcone with me every year at the Fair. THAT made me cry. I so rarely hear from him, he’s so busy with his studies.

There were a few moments – the final song was Vince Gill’s “Go rest high on that mountain.” Yeah, who chose that one? It wouldn’t have been my sister’s choice, I think she would have preferred Elvis. 🙂

So I made it through. Then my dear friend, who brought me the two things guaranteed to make me smile yesterday – yarn and fabric – and who accompanied me to the service – took me to dinner at the local Italian restaurant. The young girl who escorted us to our table looked familiar. I said her name with a question mark. – she responded. I told her, “I’m your great-aunt.” (Her grandmother is M, who doesn’t speak to me. ) I’ve only seen this kid a few times in her life, but when I asked if we could get a picture together, she readily agreed.

So a day of sadness was lightened by two young people – two kids I’ve loved all their lives, in the same way my sister loved me.

I’ll be okay. And when I’m gone, I hope they remember me with the same love and joyful hearts that I remember my sister.

See you on the side, Nancy

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Praying for strength

Posted on October 25, 2024 by suziecreamcheese

I rarely want time to move faster, days to end, years to go by. I plan for tomorrow but much further out and I’m useless. Now, however, I want it to be Wednesday.

I’ll be back home on Wednesday. Bear will be at work, Maverick will be at daycare (Pray for good poop, people!) and I’ll have a few hours of peace. I expect I’ll be curled up in a ball on the sofa, bing watching Netflix and crying till my eyes are sore.

I won’t be able to cry, really, till then. Oh, I’ve done my share already but as of tomorrow, I have to drive for 6 hours – crying is not advised while going 80 mph – then I have to be tough at the service because everyone around me will be falling apart. Or brawling. And someone better grab the urn if a brawl breaks out. I shall say no more about that. On Monday, my dear friend is taking me shopping – we’re going to not one, but two Dollar Trees. I’m quite excited about that, by the way. I seriously love Dollar Tree because you can get the BEST junk for $1.25! And the joy of the hunt for goodies is way needed right now. He will not allow me to cry, he’ll do his best to make me laugh the entire day. And he’s very good at making me laugh. I know too that he won’t leave me alone till evening, so I won’t have time to wallow. Tuesday morning, I drive home. Again, can’t really cry, although this will be tough, I’m not sure when I’ll be back – the ones I go see are fewer and fewer each year.

When I left in June, I knew I’d never see my sister again in this life. I knew for the last month that someone was getting ready to cross over but I wasn’t sure who it was. It doesn’t make it easier, knowing in advance.

Also, Maverick is still home, but I’m happy to report he had much better poops today. Yesterday and today, Mommah got smart and fed the old boiled chicken/plain pasta meals that get him back in shape. (He won’t eat rice. He won’t eat hamburger and rice. He won’t eat hamburger. He is a wee tad fussy) (Plain pasta is fine, by the way) (And scrambee eggs, which he’ll have for supper along with his chicken/pasta meal) I’m praying that by Monday, when Bear takes him to daycare, all will be well. Bear will not be pleased if he has to go get him during the day. (He thinks the daycare owner is overly paranoid, he’ll be annoyed with her, not Maverick) (I understand why she’s protective, but it can still sometimes make life difficult when you’ve got plans disrupted)

So, I’m still expecting a possible brawl although I’m being told that everyone is getting along. I know this family too well – they ARE my monkeys and it IS my circus – to not think that someone is planning something. Stay tuned for more poop news and more brawl news!

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I suppose things could be worse

Posted on October 22, 2024 by suziecreamcheese

I’m heading to NY this weekend. Not for vacation, not because I want to, but because there’s a funeral I have to attend. I knew I’d have to do this someday, I just didn’t want it to be so soon.

I’m one of five girls, the youngest. Three are now in Heaven. The one remaining hasn’t spoken to me in 3 years and I’m okay with that, I will always love her but we just don’t like each other. (She’s voting for Ding Dong. Need I say more?) (There’s a lot more to it than that, but it pretty much sums up how different we are.) (I’m okay with someone being stupid enough to vote for the Cackler, she automatically hates anyone voting differently)

Last week the second sister, who was my second favorite, decided it was time to join her husband in Heaven. I know she missed him terribly, and I sort of understand, but that doesn’t make this any easier.

So her kids – who are not kids, but in their 50’s – are fighting like fools and I’m incredibly glad I don’t live closer to them. (I would get sucked into the drama and then I’d have to stop it and it wouldn’t be good) (For them) (I’d stomp a mudhole in their dumb asses)

So I’m leaving Saturday, coming home on Tuesday. I thought I’d have this week to mentally prepare for the coming chaos.

Maverick had other plans. Okay, it’s my fault. Don’t let your dog lick the plate when you’ve had hot roast beast sammiches for supper. Yeah, I didn’t stop to think that gravy for a dog with an iffy digestive system was really stupid. (Grief, I’m blaming it on grief) Yesterday he was fine until he had the blow out from his rear end.

Well. This means he can’t go to daycare because in spite of my assurances that it’s from the roast beast, the owner understandably has to be strict about dogs with diarrhea – it might be something he could pass to the other dogs there. (Not unless they too have roast beast gravy but I can’t convince her)

So there goes my week to prepare. Maybe it’s for the best. Maybe I just won’t be able to think so much about what might happen.

At any rate, if you see on the news that a brawl broke out at a funeral in Upstate NY on Sunday, yeah, it’s probably my family. Send bail money, Bear says I’m on my own. 🙂

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A shot of booze

Posted on October 5, 2024 by suziecreamcheese

Many years ago, my brother in law decided to clean out his liquor cabinet.   He wasn’t a heavy drinker but he liked a good Scotch    Apparently a good Scotch is supposed to taste like “peat.”   I dunno, tasted more like feet to me!

At any rate.   I digress.

He pulled out several bottles of various stuff that he no longer wanted.   My mom wasn’t a drinker and I’m not big on the heavy stuff, so most of it was rejected.  

Then he pulled out the bottle of Irish Mist.

We’re Irish – in spite of my sister’s claims to be Scottish – she’s the only one in my family who isn’t Irish (we humor her.)   (With this one, it’s best to pick your battles)    At that time, I was seriously into anything Irish so I had to taste this heavenly stuff.    It’s a honey liquor, and it’s smoooooooth.    He poured me a shot, and handed it over with a smile.   “Sip that,” he said, “It’s strong.”  So of course, me being me, I knocked that baby back in one swallow.  

He stared at me.   I handed the glass back and said, “that’s good, we’ll take that one home!”   “Also, pour me another.”   He did.  I knocked that one back, too.   I took a breath and said, “One more won’t hurt, “ and held out the glass.

“You’re driving!”  said my sister.  “Well.”  Said my mother.   “Nope she isn’t.”   😊   “Give her the shot”

They were in disbelief that I was standing

I have no idea why it didn’t hit me, but I do love me some Irish Mist to this day.   It still doesn’t really affect me, but I no longer attempt to do more than one shot – I’ve grown a bit older and my tolerance has kind of diminished with the passing years.   (Mostly because I hardly ever drink hard liquor, I suppose) (Because most of it tastes like gasoline)

On the random evenings when I feel having a shot of Irish Mist, I think of my brother in law, who died suddenly almost 5 years ago.    He was a nice guy, and I miss him.   After his funeral, we met back at my nephew’s house and my sister poured everyone a shot of some super expensive Scotch that is not pronounced like it’s spelled – Laphroaig is the name and it’s said “La-froy-ick” or something like that – to toast the man we all loved.    We raised our glasses, said, “to D” and knocked it back. 

And every one of us coughed.  

Yup, it still tasted like feet. 

 And I know in my heart that he was laughing in the Heaven he chose not to believe in. 

Yes, I miss him.  And yes, I had a shot of Irish Mist tonight, and thought of him, and smiled.   Thanks for giving me that bottle so long ago, and thanks for being one of the good guys.  

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