Trigger warning – I use the f word a lot in this post. (sorry)

I’ve been trying to write something for over a week and I just can’t seem to get past a few paragraphs. Most days I walk around going “What the ACTUAL fuck is going on?” I mutter to myself a lot more than I used to, and I’ve pretty much had an ongoing conversation with myself since before I learned to talk.

So there was an “election.” I put that in quotes because, seriously, what the actual fuck WAS that hot mess? The term “shit show” frequently comes to mind. We’ve got states that can’t count, people not being allowed to observe counts, ballots being tossed, people voting for only one person on the whole ballot, vote counts suddenly being changed in the middle of the night, boxes of ballots appearing as if by magic, and a whole crap ton of dead people walking from the cemetery to vote for someone who often looks like he’s about to join them.

We have the media declaring a winner. Umm, who gave them that power? I thought the people elected a president, I wasn’t aware that the media selected a president. BUT, Goddess forfend you say that out loud! We’re being told to shut up, accept the “results,” and oh, by the way, you racist, stupid, uneducated, deplorable, chumps – wanna be friends?

What.

The.

Actual.

Fuck?

I was unfriended by someone I’ve known for a long time, someone who used to call me and threaten suicide on a regular basis while deep in drug addiction, someone I talked off the ledge countless times over the years. Why? Because I asked her to answer a question without mentioning Trump. (The question, which I have asked of many, was “what would you do if some strange man came up behind your daughter and sniffed her shoulders and hair?” My answer is that he would picking himself up off the floor.) Her response was to tell me that I was stupid and she couldn’t respect me because I don’t hate President Trump. Yeah, so much for that. (She did mention that I was educated but apparently that has not effected my stupidity cuz you gotta be stoopid to git that masters digree in accountin. I is edamakaded!

If I won a contest, and half the people involved in choosing the winner accused me of cheating, I would want to prove to them that no, I did NOT cheat, I won fair and square. Nope, not gonna have that this time – shut up, you racist bigot and hey, wanna be friends? Cuz I really want to be your friend, right after I put you on the list of people who should never be allowed to hold a job again. K? C’mon, man!

What.

The.

Actual.

Fuck?

Meanwhile, in the spirit of “nothing to see here, watch my other hand!” Covid cases are conveniently increasing and hysteria is mounting. Because we’ve proved that shut downs work SO well (heavy sarcasm), hey, let’s try that again! And by the way, you need to start doing what you’re told. Because GOD DAMN IT, you’re trying to kill GRANDMA again!

Sometimes I think I’m living in an alternate universe. In my world, we’re going about our lives and taking the normal precautions we would during flu season – other than the hated masks. I read a lot, and I think that even though I’m a stupid deplorable racist, I can figure out what I should believe, what I should toss, and what I should consider further. I was asked why the “anti-maskers” think those who religiously wear them love them. Gee, I dunno, maybe cuz you preach to us all the time?

One of my friends went to DC the other day for the rally to support the president. She said it was a happy, peaceful day, she made new friends, felt a great sense of how good this country really is. She got out of DC before dark, before Antifa (which is only an idea, remember) and BLM started randomly beating people up. If you follow only main stream media, you probably wouldn’t know about that. You also wouldn’t know about Dominion and that there are multiple affidavits affirming voting issues.

It’s okay. I think that breathing sand might be fun. I guess if you stick your head far enough down that tunnel, it all seems okay.

And because I cannot figure out what the actual fuck is going on, I’m going to go on living my life. If our governor tries to lock us down again, I will simply ignore him in the same way he ignores me. I will pray for a resolution to the election debacle – and if CreepySnifferMan is finally declared the winner, well, he’ll never be my president unless he agrees to an investigation into this mess and proves that he actually did win fairly, but he’ll still be CreepySnifferMan in my eyes. (I put up with four years of Orange Man Bad, deal with it). And I’ll go work on a quilt for the new baby born to the young couple down the road, and planning all kinds of fun things for the new baby to be born in our “family” this Spring, when my BFF becomes a grandma for the first time.

This child to come is already surrounded by so much love that all the rest of the fuckery is forgotten in the joy of an ultrasound picture of a tiny baby foot.