Yeah, that’s me. So the Bear works second shift, which means I’m home alone for the bulk of the evening. I’m actually okay with that, his choice of TV shows quite frankly sucks, so having the TV all to myself and not being subjected to smirking Hawkeye or fake dumb hick smiles of Andy Griffith and the accent of Gomer Pyle that makes my skin crawl, is not a bad deal.
I live in the country. It’s beautiful back here, quiet, isolated, home to many an axe murderer. Keeping me safe from those axe murderers, or murderers of any type, is Maverick’s mission in life. However, my choice of TV shows tends to run to the Investigation Discovery channel which is full of, you guessed it, axe murderers.
Happily sewing away upstairs tonight, I was rudely interrupted by fierce barking, the likes of which would scare the most intrepid ANTIFA member into setting his own pants on fire.
I’m no longer upstairs. Thanks, Maverick, Mommah is now downstairs where the guns are and the doors are and the keys are close at hand in case we need to make a fast exit.
Oh, and if we do? Don’t give me this, “I’m not getting in that car!” routine or I might just leave you to face the axe murderer on your own.
Oh hell, you could probably take him on and win.
Suziecreamcheese Sings the Blues 
Why is an axe murderer worse than other common or garden varieties of murderer? Dead’s dead whether by axe or tickled to death . Unless you are referring to Axe, that vile fragrance stuff worn by teenage boys in heat, in which case I fully support the use of lethal force.
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Axe murderers cut you up little piece by little piece. They start with the toes, then go to fingers, feet, hands, ankles, you get the picture?
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Do they bite your bummee?
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No, they cut pieces off your butt-ocks!
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Ooh, spooky movie season is right around the corner too! Watch a couple where the strange noises are from evil spirits to mix things up between the axe murder thoughts.
(I also support doing something about Axe wearers. Perhaps confinement in small poorly ventilated rooms?)
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Axe wearers should be confined in a well. Also, witches normally don’t get scared of noises from the basement – I tell them to get out of my house and knock the crap off. Works like a charm!
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Anytime you get scared, Edward and I will hop on a plane and help you battle any ax murderer you come across! I promise!! xoxoxoxoxo
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Yay, Edward! Bite the bummeees! Oh, and you too, we’ll have tea and talk plants and stuff!
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Eek! š®
(But, Ha! on Gomer Pyle’s voice!!!)
I was gonna’ say I’d give you my huge aluminum baseball bat, but you got guns so you’ll be okay. š
(((HUGS))) š
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